An ordinary snapshot

My lifeguard stand is the rocker in my bedroom, a safe distance from the flurry of splashes.

I know how long I last in a warm bath. And I know the twins passed that marker minutes ago.

Fingers are undoubtedly wrinkled prunes. My bathroom floor is sopping wet.

I didn't move the bath mat far enough away.

And yet they play on, giggling and splashing.  Octonauts, sea creatures, goggles, and dive toys.  Swim suit bottoms.  

Such an enormous treat, swimming in Momma's big tub.

7QT - The Real Life Edition

1.  My ultrasound is scheduled for 10/10 at 10. thirty.  Adding the thirty kind of breaks the repetition I had going on there.  I am starting to get excited.  The advent of pregnancy symptoms has definitely encouraged excitement.  Feeling cruddy, yay!  Want to sleep all day, yay!  Clothes starting to feel snug, yay! Well, err, maybe more surprise at that last one than celebration.  I'm only 6.5 weeks - snug already?! Haven't gained any weight, maybe even lost a little as I can't eat as much in a sitting, but "things" are rearranging. 



2.  Homeschooling has had an interesting start.  While I've done some casual work with the children before, this is the first time I've ever attempted work in which they might need correction.  And we had a rocky beginning learning each other's personalities.  Thanks to advice from many seasoned friends, I have learned that Cora and Mac need to be schooled separately, even subjects in which they are seemingly the same level. Amazing transformation of our school day.  Another life saver is these things:

I purchased mine from a local teacher store.  And now math is not a battle.  Well, the math itself was never the battle; number formation for hands that just weren't quite ready yet to write them was at fault (especially little boy hands).

 

 

3.  I've taught two preK/K classes so far.  We meet two Wednesdays a month and I teach a class that has a science theme though is not limited to science activities.  Class one we talked about apples, apple trees, and tested kitchen ingredients that could possibly slow the browning process of apples.  Class two was devoted to outer space, specifically the moon and the sun.  And we did an extraordinarily messy experiment exploring the formation of craters on the moon.  Class three will be this week and our topic is the ocean.  It is truly amazing how many good finds are available on pinterest.  And how intimidated I am by the professional primary teachers. 

 

 

 

4.  Sometimes I wonder how much Hank, our Great Dane, can understand what we say to him.  Fridays are family movie nights.  One day, in preparation for our movie, I called out to the kids, "Go get your favorite stuffed animal and sit on the couch!"  And Hank went to his toy basket, pulled out his stuffed gator, and laid down in front of the couch clutching his toy. 

 

Another time Bryan was trying to get Cora to give him a hug.  She was persistently ignoring his "pleas".  However, Hank sauntered over and put his head on Bryan's shoulder.  Yes, Danes can do that when you are sitting.  And that is what you call a Dane hug.

 

 

 

5.  We have a relatively new rule at our house:  No swinging with sticks.  Though the rule went into effect after one loss, Mac has now destroyed two pairs of shorts and torn a third by "forgetting" this rule.  Yes, I'd have to say boys are harder on clothes than girls.

 

 

 

6.  I lead a Moms' Group at our church.  We meet two times a month to discuss a book chapter and for social time.  We just finished our last book (Style, Sex, and Substance) and voted on a new book.  Starting October 16, we'll be studying My Sisters the Saints.  Ever read it before?  Are there any other books you'd recommend? 

 

 

 

7.  And, lastly, I thought I'd throw in a random fact about me to make it to number seven.  I grew up in a household that demanded you eat all the food on your plate.  I hated peas and lima beans but had to eat them regardless.  So I taught myself to swallow them whole.  Any deep dark food secrets from your past?



It's Go Time

You know how sometimes time zips past and other times you seem to be aware of the passing of each and every second?

Much of the summer was the second scenario.  And now that we're in the transfer cycle, I feel like every time I blink, a day or more has passed.

I have lots of little house/school projects that I have more or less postponed until now.  And we took our trip to San Antonio last week.  And Moms Group is starting back up at church.  And I'm toying with the idea of teaching a prek/k science class.  And I'm the leader of the family readiness group for Bryan's work.  And there's this thing called homeschooling...

In a three week period, we will have driven round trip to San Antonio once, Round Rock once, Austin three times, and Houston once.  Many people wouldn't blink an eye at that.  But I'm a homebody.  That much driving kind of makes me twitch a bit.

My baseline ultrasound was yesterday (just a status check on the state of my ovaries and uterine lining among other things).  Everything looks good.  Dr. H. thinks these embryos look very promising.  I know she's trying to reassure me, to offer me some hope.  It's been a long road with her.  Can you believe we're now experiencing our FIFTH cycle prep with this clinic?  One cycle, last November, ended up cancelled, but still... 

Assuming next Tuesday's lining check and progesterone labs are good, our transfer will be Monday, September 8. 

I want to feel hope.  I do daydream from time to time about being pregnant again.  But this time I am guarded. 

Cora and Mac are accompanying me on this journey once again.  Cora pretends to take her medicine at each meal, just like I do with my estradiol doses.  Apparently she is going to have two babies, a boy and a girl.  She is undecided on the names as of yet.  And Mac takes his "reminder" role very seriously.  "Momma, don't forget to take your pills!" 

Cora and Mac each assure me that they will be a good big sister and a good big brother.  And they will, I know it, whenever that day comes. 

I wish I could tell them with some sort of certainty when that day will come.  When they can greet new siblings in person.  I have no idea.  God willing, late May.  Right now, this whole embryo adoption process is sort of a fantasy to them.  Momma takes medicine, goes to the doctor several times, and then we end up with more babies in Heaven.  That's our status quo thus far.  And I pray that it will change.  Short term.  I still want all my children, present and future to end up in Heaven.  Just hopefully after a lengthy time here with us.


Jesus, I trust in You. 


Jesus, I trust in You.

Kid Funnies

The kids have been trying my patience enormously lately, so I thought it'd be a good idea for me to remember their charming moments.  Good theory, right?

1.  We came home from the grocery store one morning and Mac really wanted to play out front.  Much to his dismay, I told him no, that I had to put the groceries up and couldn't watch him in the front yard.  Cora then placed her hand on my arm and looked me in the eyes, "Don't worry, Momma, I can watch him for you!"  Apparently that forty minutes headstart she has over her brother makes her infinitely older.


2.  The kids invent words; I'm sure that's very normal.  Mac often takes being a wordsmith to an extreme though, making up a word and thoroughly embedding it into his vocabulary.  The past two weeks he's been using "ferociouness".  It sounds like ferociousness but without the 's' at the end of the ferocious part.  I asked one time if he meant ferociousness and was corrected abruptly.  It means precisely whatever he wants it to, which is not ferociousness. 


3.   I've had a lot of talks with Cora about listening to her body. Your body will tell you when you need to go potty - don't ignore it!  Similarly, your body will tell you when you need air when swimming under water - don't ignore it! (Explanation on the latter:  she's highly competetive and challenges herself to underwater swimming contests; these don't always end well.)  I walked into her room the other day and saw clean clothes strewn about.  "Cora, why are your clothes everywhere?!"  "I listened to my body and it said "NO" to these clothes."


4.  Mac was holding a one dollar bill.  "That's George Washington.  He's our first President."  And I smiled, surprised by his keen sense about money.  And then Mac continued, "He went to the pyramid and came back with money."  And my smile was swallowed by chuckles and a brief correction.  Only very brief because I have no idea why the pyramid is there!  Anyone care to educate me, to save me the time researching it later?


5.  There are inherent differences between boys and girls. Raising boy/girl twins really allows a parent to see this since both children have equal exposure to toys (we don't enforce any gender particular rules when it comes to toys).  That being said, Mac makes weapons out of things and Cora does not.  We have a decent collection of lego duplos.  Cora lately has been marrying off Cinderella to each male lego figure.  Mac, instead, made "funeral spray".  The spray, apparently, has a fairly obvious use:  "you spray someone and they turn dead." 

Still Here

I've written a lot, in my prayer journal, in random spirals that I keep around the house, even on spare slips of paper I come across when my mind won't turn off at bedtime.  But on blogger? Every time I sit down, my hands still.  My mind blanks. 

The first half of July was hard. Very hard.  Loss does not get easier the more you experience it.  And though it eases with time, the echoes of "what might have been" are still there.

And then the twins turned four.  There was planning and crafting on my part and way too much time on pinterest.  And then laughter and celebration with friends.  Forty-plus people here - how did that happen?!

And then there was a work ceremony for Bryan.  Something we had been waiting for since January, planning since May.  And it finally happened last week.  Outside.  Well, sort of, in an open air building.  In the Texas heat. 

And now July is drawing to a close. 

Friends have moved/are moving.  Seasons of life for a military wife.

Making plans for a little family getaway sometime in August.  We're horrible about actually taking a vacation.  I've put my foot down and said We Are Going!

September approaches and our last transfer looms into view.  Next cycle.  Will this be it, finally?

But August comes first.  And we will take our little vacation.  And enjoy the present moment.

7 Quick Takes

 

 

 

1.  The kids, especially Mac, are at that funny stage in which they are infatuated by superheroes.  They've never even seen a single tv episode or superhero movie (apart from The Incredibles) and yet they still are learning the character names and role playing.  Sometimes, the details get a little mixed up.  At lunch today, for example, I was informed that there are four Batman bad guys:  Mr. Freezer Man, Penguin Man (aka Pink Man), The Liar, and The Joker.  Amazing how a $1 coloring book impulse buy shapes my kids' imaginations!

 

2.  Well, that was unusual.  I just got called away to rescue Cora from the mini-blinds.  She had somehow gotten the button on the back of her dress entangled in the mini-blinds.  She offered no explanation as to how that occured...

 

3.  I learned something truly delightful and edifying from the kids this week.  You can make colored boogers.  Step one:  color extensively with markers, so much so that your hands become vibrantly colored.  Step two: pick one's nose with said vibrantly colored fingers.  Step three: marvel at the results.    It should be noted that we were using "jewel tone" markers that day so the effects were extraordinary.

 

Sorry if number three grossed you out.  I taught middle school for seven years and now have preschoolers.  I somehow ended up in the land where people always find farts and boogers hilarious.

 

4.  There are obvious downsides to having a Great Dane - he can clear counters easily, knocks the kids down accidentally, and leaves a trail of gargantuan muddy paw prints.  I learned a new downside the other day.  PSA - It is NOT a good idea to include the Great Dane when one is playing Hide n Seek.  Normally he just barks or whines outside of whichever closet door I'm hiding behind.  But Wednesday?  Oh joyous of days, he got me stuck.  I decided to hide under one of the kid's twin beds.  And the dog followed me under there.  And I got stuck.  Dog didn't leave me any space for maneuvering.  Had to have Mac pull me out by my ankles.

 

5.  Speaking of the dog - I've incurred my first ever library fine because of him.  He ate a book. 

 

6.  Bryan sold his motorcycle.  It was bittersweet.  He listed it Sunday and had sold it by Wednesday afternoon.  He loved that bike but just didn't enjoy riding here.  Texas heat.  Large military base traffic.  No riding buddies.  Let it be known that I did not push him to this decision.  He decided all on his own that it was time to part ways.  The money is going towards his jeep and towards our next embryo transfer.

 

7.  I better wrap this up before the thunderstorm gets here.  The sky is getting progressively darker and the thunder louder.  And I'm on the desktop right next to the window - prime storm viewing space.  So, without further ado, WE HAVE OUR CONTRACTS!!!  Well, at the time of this writing, we have received one already and the other one is coming (two separate families so two separate contracts).  Just need to print, sign and get notarized, and mail back.  And then those snowbabies will be shipped to us!!! (or rather to our clinic, but you get the idea...)

 

 

 

 

 

 



Morning wake up

Little voices pierce through the closed door and drift down the hallway.  The finer points of life are being discussed, like how to avoid getting dog hair in one's bottom.  They burst through their door, triumphant in their success of fully dressing themselves.  Excitement is palpable as they remember a long awaited outing is here.  Momma, we have zero days until the truck park!  And we three settle comfortably on the couch for our customary pre-breakfast snack (bananas and a cup of milk) while viewing our morning shows.

7 Quick Takes - A Day Late

I figured I'd jump on this bandwagon too.  Whatever gets me writing, right?  Please forgive the fact that the link is for Friday and today is Saturday.  We can just overlook that minor detail.  ;-)

1.  The Moms' Group I coordinate has infrequent Sunday evening potlucks.  We all like them, it just seems to take a lot of effort to coordinate and host one.  And then the majority of us are married to either military or military support which means there are always some husbands traveling.  I miss our whole family gatherings and have been scheming up a plan for the next one.  Right now it looks like it might be a potluck-eating-Frozen-watching (kids) - pajama wearing (kids again) - board-game (parents) evening.  I'm trying to decide if I'm biting off too much or if it will work.

2.  The rocker/glider in my bedroom is normally covered in clean clothes waiting to be returned to closets and dressers.  [real world confession]  I've been a little more on top of the laundry lately which means the rocker can be used again.  By Mac.  I've caught him numerous times rocking the baby dolls and singing them lullabys.  Lullabyes?  I'm not actually sure how to make that plural.  My heart swoons a little.  How can it not when a big clunky three year old boy cradles babies and sings to them when he thinks no one is looking?

3.  Cora has been perfecting her signature.  Currently it's capital c, capital o, capital r, lower case a  except she has a non-traditional way of writing her R - a high circle with two lines coming down from it to form the R legs.  I haven't really worked on penmanship at all with them, so it's interesting to see the natural evolution of letter formation.

4.  Our home parish is about a 25 minute drive away on weekdays.  The kids and I just can't make Holy Day services there so we go to a closer parish that has better times.  The kids behaved surprisingly well at the Ash Wednesday Mass.  After Mass, an old man stopped me on the way out  and said "You should write a book."  "Oh?" was my puzzled response.  "Yes," he responded, "you should write about how to get children to behave in church."  I smiled, blushed, and thanked him.  "Today was just a good day for us."  And that's the truth.  In all my infinite wisdom, I have learned that child behavior in Mass is somewhat the luck of the draw.  And that kindly old man had luckily not observed the days when a certain young female acts demon possessed and stops the homily with her foul behavior.  Still, it felt nice to get a compliment.

5.  I don't often talk about the dog.  Figured it was time to mention him a bit.  Hank, the Great Dane, is a stereotypical Dane.  He's fairly gentle, though clumsy, and loves kids and people-food.  The latter can be problematic.  Several times after clearing plates down the disposal, I've caught the dog with his front paws on the counter, staring forlornly down the drain.  Guess he would prefer all food scraps went into his bowl, rather than the garbage disposal. 

6.  Changing gears back to embryo adoption.  The agency decided to pursue matching us with two smaller sets of embryos (each family has two embryos for a total of four, or enough for two transfers), so our profile is out to both families now.  Matching with two families simultaneously is harder to coordinate.  We'll just have to see how things play out!

7.  I really loved today's Lenten reflection from flocknote, especially as we continue this very long journey towards growing our family again.

Excerpt from the Diary of St. Faustina:

Although it seems to me that You do not hear me, I put my trust in the ocean of Your mercy, and I know that my hope will not be deceived (Diary - 69).
 

Meditation:

My Jesus, when I repeatedly ask You for something and I get no reply and nothing seems to change in my life, I fear that You are not there. I grow discouraged and I feel alone. Help me to trust in You in the midst of the darkness. Teach me how to walk by faith and not by sight. I place my hope in You, and I believe that Your love and mercy are as deep as the ocean. There is nothing that is beyond Your power. Strengthen my faith, O Lord!

- Fr. Joseph Roesch, MIC

Friday Funnies

7 posts in 7 days link up - Day 5 (more than half way!)



Earlier this week, I spent one afternoon sitting on the driveway planning my preschool lesson while the kids pretended to put out fires.  They wore their monkey and owl backpacks filled with fire fighting accouterments, protected their heads with fire hats, and rushed from emergency to emergency on their trusty fire scooters.  No lives were lost, no injuries sustained thanks to the efforts of the Trusty Firefighting Duo.




For the last twenty-four hours, Mac has been calling Bryan and I "Dude".  He's seen Finding Nemo before, but not recently.  And he's never seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  So we're at a loss where he learned this term and why it's worked its way into his vocabulary.  Example:  I say, "Mac, go find your socks."  He replies, "Okay, Dude!"




Parenting gone awry.  The kids do a great job of saying "excuse me" after they burp.  Unfortunately, I've also taught them to say "Now you have room for more food!" to the burper.  Oops.



While the kids don't always nap, they do go down for "quiet time" for about an hour and fifteen minutes each afternoon.  They're allowed to take one quiet toy with them in addition to an assortment of stuffed animals and books.  Cora's choice the last two days?  A scientific calculator.

A child-like hope

First off, I want to say thank you for the kind words and prayers following my last post.  I am, a week later, feeling like myself again.  I can smile and laugh and breathe.  Whew.

On to other matters.  Twenty-two days.  Three weeks and one day.  We will meet our next frozen two in just a shade over three weeks.  While the numbers seem fairly close, the proximity of the transfer hasn't quite hit me yet.  Perhaps because I haven't flipped to that calendar month yet.  tomorrow...

The kids have decided to name these two waiting embryos Habeep and Bappio. These are names of their own creation and they're so delighted to add in Habeep and Bappio to our nightly prayer intentions.  I've been informed that Habeep is a boy and Bappio is a girl.

The child-like trust amazes me. Cora and Mac have sincere hope that they will meet their two siblings face to face sometime after their fourth birthday.  (My due date will be August-ish; their birthday is July).

As an adult, I find myself made cautious by prior failings.  I want to qualify everything with an "if" or "maybe".  Instead I am finding myself fascinated by the hope of children. 

Cora and Mac hope and pray completely for their waiting baby seeds.  Though they experienced sorrow with me in May after the failed transfer, their hope is not dampened. 

They hoped in May for siblings that they could meet and hold and snuggle.  And they grieved the loss of those three baby seeds. 

Here we are again, months later, and Cora and Mac can once again hope fully.

Typical adults would hold back some of their hope, their dreams after prior failures.  There is pain following the loss of a dream.  An adult sees that, remembers that, and proceeds forward guarded.  A child sees that, remembers that, and proceeds forward holding nothing back. 

While I teach my children much about the terminology and biology of adoption and embryo adoption, I am learning too.  Learning about love and hope, how to hope fully with my whole being.  And sometimes, I think they are the better teachers.

Interviewing kids

I've been trying to formulate a reflective post on the fact that the kids are now three.  And it just hasn't been happening.  I decided to involve the kids in the process and interview them instead.  After asking a question, if I didn't immediately get a response, I'd turn it into a multiple choice question to get some thoughts flowing.

When was your birthday? 
Mac - last month in July; Cora - July 18

How old are you?
Both - FWEE!! Fingers held high.

What are your favorite movies? 
Both - Mulan, Tigger Movie, the Heffalump movie, Nemo.  (Then they went on and listed every movie they could remember in our entertainment center, most of which they hadn't seen:  Bugs, Cars, Incredibles...)

What's your favorite color?
Mac - blue, like firemen wear; Cora - blue

What's your favorite thing to eat?
Mac - noodles; Cora - yogurt (decision possibly influenced by the fact we were eating yogurt at the time)

What's your favorite fruit?
Both - all fruits!

What's your favorite veggie?
Mac - NO!  Cora - salad, green beans (she likes them raw), french fries  :-)

Mac, describe what Cora looks like.
She has green eyes, brown hair it's straight and curly and long.  She's tall.  She's kinda loud at nighttime (she's been snoring terribly lately)

Cora, describe what Mac looks like.
He has blue eyes and light brown hair.  It's short and curly.  He's tall.  He has loud feet and a loud mouth.

Note - both kids are about 41 inches tall and 46 pounds.  They tower over their other three year old friends and are much closer in size to their five year old friends.  They wear size 13 shoes and clothes that are usually at least a size 6.

What are some of your favorite things to do at home?
Mac - make pillow caves, play Busy Town especially when the pigs eat, play on the ipad, puzzles, legos, watch movies and eat popcorn
Cora - color pictures, watch movies and eat popcorn, play with my babies, play with Hank (the dog), puzzles, ipad, play Busy Town, bounce my basketballs

What does Daddy do?
Mac - clean dishes and go to work and play Busy Town and sleep.  He's a soldier.

What does Momma do?
Cora - clean dishes, give Mac and Cora a bath, clean fans (what we had just done that morning), put me to bed

How old is Momma?
Both - one

How old is Daddy?
Both - one

How old is Hank?
Mac - no numbers; Cora - two (I'm intrigued that the dog is older than both Bryan and I)

What is Daddy's name?
Both - Bryan

What is Momma's name?
Mac - Andra (written phonetically)

What do you want to be when you grow up?  How many kids will you have?
Mac - a fireman; firemen don't have kids
Cora - a doctor with five kids

I think next time I interview the kids, I may try to separate them.  I asked questions over breakfast today and Mac burst out with all his answers, even when I tried to address them specifically to Cora.

They both know our address, but I'm not writing that for the obvious privacy reasons.  Actually they're quite in tune with street names and can give directions to our normal destinations (groceries, library, pet store...)

The memory of a three year old is pretty incredible.  Both Cora and Mac know their basic prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, O My Jesus, and grace, plus the various Mass responses/prayers).  Cora can sing her version of the Salve Regina.

They have picked up random tidbits from tv, like the colors of the rainbow and that milk comes from cow udders. 

We read a lot of books but they don't have any lasting favorites. Or perhaps I should say all books are their favorites? 

Overall, they have very inquisitive minds and I try, as best I can, to answer their queries.  Lately they've been very interested in spelling words.  I've started keeping notecards near the kitchen table.  This way I can draw a simple picture and label it so we can "practice reading and spelling" while the meal wraps up. 

Bonus - best picture ever.  If you'll notice, Mac's birthday present is packaged in a diaper box.  Oh, if you could have heard his indignation upon unwrapping a big box only to find what he thought was a box of diapers!  It wasn't. It was trains.

 

Sleep

I posted some dire pleas for help on the ole faceb.ook the other day, bemoaning the child sleep situation.  I've read books, scoured the internet, examined our own lifestyles and habits, and have come up with something that is working for us.  Well, working better at least.

In short, the problem was that since the beginning of summer (and our move to this new house), the kids were taking FOREVER to go to sleep each night.  And then naps were horrendous crying messes because they were overtired.  And then a certain little girl regressed horribly in the bladder control department because she was so tired all the time.  And the hissyfits.  OH, the hissyfits.

Highlights from my research:  the average three year old needs between 12 - 13 hours of total sleep per day.  Some kids nap, many don't at this age.  Just keep in mind the overall total needed sleep per day. 

Another highlight, perhaps obvious in its simplicity - consistency is key.  Whatever your method, whatever the routine, whatever the wake-up/go-down times, keep them consistent.

After many trials and tribulations, the kids are now going to sleep by 9:00 each night and around 7:00 in the morning.  Naps are around two hours in length.

I had mistakenly thought before that since the kids were still up and running around at 8:30 each night that they weren't tired enough to go to sleep.  We'd do our routine and the kids weren't going to sleep until 9:30 or 9:45 each night (which left both the kids and us parents EXHAUSTED). 

To combat this, we've actually lengthened our nighttime routine and moved the start time up earlier.  It's a long routine, but it allows us to shift gradually from playtime to sleep mode.

We've also instituted a "ticket" system.  Each child has three "tickets" to come out of their room.  If they have tickets left when it's time to get up, then they earn five minutes on the ipad (ipad is really the only consistent motivator for Cora).  If either one gets up four times (one time after the tickets are gone), then we put the child-proof door knob on the door.  (I take it off when I go to bed.)  Mac can take the door knob off, but for whatever reason he won't do it when he's tired.  And it's totally dark.

At 7:30 ish, Bryan's phone quacks.  This is the "clean-up" alarm.  The kids are "paid" for their clean-up efforts with skittles (0-3 depending on the quality of job and extent of mess).  Then it's ipad time - set another timer, each kid gets five minutes.  Then it's time to go potty, brush teeth, and put on pjs.

We settle into their room and read books.  Say prayers, climb into bed, and turn out the lights.  But wait, there's more!

The following are the new additions which further the theme of quiet and calm before bed.  Oh, side note, Cora and Mac share a room and will indefinitely.

With the lights off but the bedroom door open, we parents split up and say goodnight/give blessings to each child individually.  Okay, the only new part here is the lights are off for this phase.

Next we each lay (lie?  I have never learned a trick to use lay/lie correctly) down with a child.  We switch out nightly whom we lay/lie/whatever with.  We snuggle for a few minutes and just whisper quietly with the child about their day or if "they have any questions" (we always get "what are we doing tomorrow?").  Then we sing the Salve Regina while rubbing a back or tummy, or holding a hand. 

One last kiss for each child and then one parent (and the dog) leave.

We really had struggled with what happened after we left the room - it had become playtime part 4000.  We tried staying in there but if a parent is there, then you are the focus of attention, the target.  And we found ourselves losing our tempers long before the kids lost interest.

Now, after reiterating the rules off and on throughout the day, the kids know to stay in their own beds while the remaining parent says the rosary.  We just say it softly, not expecting the kids to participate like they do with regular prayers.  After the rosary is over, the remaining parent tiptoes out.  Usually it's about 8:45 or a little after by this time.

About 75% of the time, Cora is asleep before the end of the rosary.  Mac frequently gets up four times right in a row after the rosary concludes and "earns" himself the door knob, but then goes to sleep without a peep.  It's like he has this compulsion to use all the cards each night.  Ever since we tacked on the rosary, both kids have been asleep by 9:00.  please don't let me jinx myself!

After much thought, I tackled naps too.  The kids are put in separate rooms for naps, which helps immensely.  Other than that one day when they realized if they yelled loudly enough, they could hear each other...

I moved nap time up slightly earlier so I could wake them earlier. They nap on the average for about two hours, usually from around 1:30 - 3:30.   plan was foiled today by an over eager boy who decided to wake his sister whom he missed so very dearly

Overall, it's a huge improvement.  Hissyfits have been reduced, though I haven't discovered a magic cure for those.  Bladder control for little girls is dramatically better.  In all, the kids are just more pleasant to be around now.  :-)  And I'm more pleasant too.




 

Three

Would you believe it?  The twins went and turned three on me.  How could that happen?!

I'll post on their developments soon, but for now I'll just reminisce on their party. 

Being a military family, I know my kids won't be able to celebrate with friends every year.  We'll move, friends will move, it just won't always be able to happen.  With that knowledge, I wanted to do this party up a little bit. 

After much discussion, the kids and I decided on a pirate theme, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, to be exact.  Last year we didn't have a party (had only lived in Texas for six weeks by their 2nd birthday) and so "splurged" on Step2 items for the backyard.  This year the gifts were way scaled down (hello, IKEA!) and we "splurged" on the party. 

We ended up having decent weather, an amazing feat for a July day in central Texas.  Grandma, PopPop, and Uncle Chris drove up early and were able to help with set up, like the essential awnings and loads of camp chairs in the backyard.

As soon as the guests came in the front door, the kids got to chose a bandanna for their pirate wear.  Next we had the inside activities of coloring pages and Pin the Tale on the Croc.  Can you believe that out of the 17 kids age 6 and down, none of them had played pin the tale on the anything before?

After attempting to give the Croc his tail, we unleashed the rapscallion horde into the backyard.

I organized several stations and the young pirates flitted around to their hearts' desire. 

They "walked the plank" - balance beam.

They "escaped the tentacles" - ran through a wiggly arm sprinkler.

They loved the "ship wash" - PopPop transformed our backyard slide into a ship and the kids swabbed the deck (soapy water in buckets and kitchen sponges)

They had "getaway practice" - slip n slide. 

And, another favorite, the kids got to "dig for buried treasure" - makeshift sandbox (under-the-bed rubbermaid filled with sand and stuffed with doubloons, plastic jewelry, etc).

The outdoor fun wound down with some pizza and fruit salad, just what every young pirate needs to keep up his/her strength.

Finally we all headed inside for clean clothes and then for cake and ice cream.

 

                                     

The dog was very helpful in vetting all guests.  And then cleaning up any spills or crumbs. 

Eventually guests drifted away until it was just family left.  And we spent the rest of the weekend recuperating and enjoying the blessings that come with good friendships. 

Evolution of an Imagination

From a parenting standpoint, it appears that speech and imagination are directly related.

In the not-so beginning, there were only a few words, parroting back what was heard.

Then, we progressed on to more and more words, phrases and sentences even, strung together by growing minds.

Creative play began to grow, initially repeating things seen on tv or read in books.  We were (and still are) constantly amazed by the amount of information toddler brains can retain.

And then true original thought emerged.  Stories we had never heard before, elaborate playscapes created out of blankets or an old shoelace.  Despite what you read here, we do give them real toys too, I promise!

When they're not at each other's throats, these two nearly-three year olds have some amazing adventures together.

Wednesday - I filled up a 3.5 gallon bucket of water for the kids to play with on the back porch.  The kids alternated who was being Jesus, washing each other's feet.  "Momma, we're being Jesus, just like He washed the Apostles' feet!"

Thursday - clad in rain boots and fireman hats, carrying fireman axes and an ever trusty "rope" (the aforementioned shoelace), the kids hunted dragons for a good hour.  The story line changed a little as the play progressed.  Sometimes the dragons were good, sometimes the dragons were bad.  And occasionally, the twins became dragons and came to roar at me while I was cooking dinner.

Friday - The kids like it when Bryan or I pretend to sleep and then wake up having a bad dream.  Cora and Mac will then rush over, ask us what our dream was about, pat us soothingly, and then tell us to go back to sleep. 

             Episode 1:  I "dreamed" I was a bird in a nest and a big cat was coming to eat me.  My protectors yelled "kill it!" and rushed away to get "poison".  They proceeded to climb on the bed carrying their "poison"-filled teacups and hurled the potion at the ceiling fan, saving me from all predators.  we're not a violent family; I don't routinely, or really ever shout out "kill it!"

             Episode 2:  Mac pretended to have a bad dream.  "Momma, Momma, I dreamed I was a bowl of ice cream and someone was trying to eat me!"



I'm watching brains grow and minds develop.  And it's incredible.

Green Light!

It's amazing how easily children's poems get absorbed into my brain.  "Green is go and red is stop.  Yellow is peaches with cream on top..."

The HSG slides were found, misfiled in the office.  I've longed to share this good news with you, but we made a last minute decision to visit the grandparents over the weekend.  And I hate typing on the ipad which meant the news had to wait.  So, a belated THANK YOU for your prayers!

Last Wednesday was my final day on birth control.  Today is cycle day two (hopefully last cycle for oh, at least eighteen months!) and the first day of estradiol (a form of oral estrogen).  I had my baseline sonogram this morning and everything looks as it should. 

I had my pill bottle on the kitchen table during lunch and, after questions, explained to the kids that this is one of the medicines I have to take to get my tummy ready for the baby seeds.  There was some initial confusion, as Cora thought these little blue pills were the baby seeds.  "No, no," I explained, "Momma and Daddy will go to the doctor in two and a half weeks and then the doctor will put the baby seeds in my tummy.  And then a few weeks later, you and Mac can come with us to the doctor to find out how many babies are growing."

We have more of a timeline now:

April 27 - increase daily estradiol

May 6 - next sonogram in Austin (another uterine lining check to see that everything's cooperative)

May 7 - begin progesterone (vaginal suppositories this time as opposed to the injections from our previous transfers)

May 10 - Day three Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) in Austin (all three embryos, assuming they survive the thaw, will be transferred) Since these are day three embryos and we're doing a day three transfer, I assume the embryos will be thawed that morning and our transfer will be mid-morning or early afternoon.

Appx May 21 - Official pregnancy test, at a local lab

May 24 - MOVE

Week of June 10 - Pregnancy sonogram in Austin (first head-count!)

And then June 18 - 19, our tenth anniversary trip to Sinya.  Even if we do nothing for those few days, the getaway will still be wonderful, and much needed!



As a side note on this post's title:  The kids love playing "Red Light Green Light" on their bikes.  They can correctly tell you that red light means stop, yellow means slow, and green means go.  However, on their bikes, green means go, yellow means slow, and red means as fast as you can go.  And then Momma will turn on her "sirens" and chase you and give you a ticket.  They've been even more interested in this game since I recently had some, ahem, real life ticket experience.  speeding, not running a light, and no sirens were used.  And I was very compliant, unlike Cora and Mac when I pull them over.

Discussing Adoption

We're just about the only family at our church Moms' Group that doesn't have a baby.  Cora and Mac both like babies, but Cora especially is in love with them. She asks, each time Moms' Group meets, if she can hold whichever baby I'm holding.  While you can't leave a two and a half year old unattended with a baby, Cora does very well with the non-walking crowd.  We have had a few discussions on how you can't force a crawling baby into your lap though...

For Cora and Mac's first birthday, I made them board books explaining in the most basic terms how they joined their family. You can see the transcript here.

As we've progressed in our current adoption, I've asked the kids if they want more girl babies or boy babies or both.  They definitely want both and are looking forward to teaching their new siblings all their current tricks.

Today's lunch was probably the most detailed adoption conversation we've had.  I can't remember how exactly the conversation started, but I remember several tidbits from the middle.

Me:  Most mommas and daddies can make their own baby seeds.  Daddy and I can't.  Sometimes other mommas and daddies have extra baby seeds and they decide to share.  That's what happened with yall.  Another Daddy and Momma named G. and T. had some extra baby seeds.  They loved them very much but couldn't use them.  So, after we signed lots and lots of papers and adopted you, G. and T. gave us the extra baby seeds.  A doctor put them in my tummy.  One baby seed was a Mac baby seed.  One baby seed was a Cora baby seed.

Mac:  When I get bigger, I'm gonna have baby seeds in my tummy.

Me:  Well, no, you can't.  Girls can become mommas.  Baby seeds only grow in a momma's tummy.  Boys can grow up to be daddies.

Cora:  I'm gonna have lots of babies in my tummy.

Me:  Would you like to have more brothers and sisters?  In one month, a doctor is going to put more baby seeds in my tummy.  Just like when we got you, we're adopting baby seeds from a family that has extra.  B. and S. love their baby seeds, but can't use them and so they're giving them to us. 

Cora:  sidetracked, asks about the fly buzzing about

Mac:  Tell me more about the babies!

Me:  We need to pray to God to ask that He help these little baby seeds live and grow and become big and strong.  All babies need God's help to grow.

Mac:  And we can teach them to ride bikes! 

Cora:  And I'll share my toys!

Me:  Well, remember, when babies are just born, they don't know how to do too much.  They can just eat, cry, sleep, and poop.  But when they get bigger, you can teach them.

The conversation then drifted off into pregnancy stories of Mac and Cora, tales of poop, and the whereabouts of one pesky fly.

I'm baaaack!

Sometimes I feel like the little engine that could.  But instead of a steep mountain to chug up, I'm on some sort of psychedelic roller coaster. 

Last Monday I had to have more bloodwork done as the lab accidently keyed in an incorrect test as part of my infectious disease panel.  The kids were troopers through that appointment and were fascinated by the mechanics involved in the blood draw.

Last Thursday I had my hysterosalpingogram (hsg).  I was told by the hospital during pre-registration that I had to have someone with me at all times. And, since it was nap time, this meant I had to have someone at the house watching the kids.  Luckily for me, Grandma drove up to help out.  And then it turned out the hospital didn't care whether or not I was accompanied during my five minute, uncomfortable procedure.  Before all these fun times went on, though, I had to go to my OB and "prove" that I wasn't pregnant (urinalysis).  Again, the kids had to go with me for this part.  "Momma, why are you peeing in a cup?  That's so silly!"

While I was in the radiology/imaging waiting room at the hospital, I learned my grandfather had passed on.  I'm a crier, so it was challenging to not cry in that waiting room or later during the procedure.  I held it together by being somewhat withdrawn.  Perhaps the tech and doctor just thought I was nervous.

The kids and I spent the last three days in Oklahoma commemorating the life of my grandfather and visiting with extended family.  While the kids did really well with sleeping in hotels at odd hours and being surrounded by "strangers", I'm not so sure I want to do extended car travel again with a certain little girl who wants to potty every 30 - 60 minutes. Oh, and just so you know, pull-ups don't hold much liquid.  The bright side of traveling with toddlers is I never once had time to be overwhelmed by emotion.  No time for tears when you're chasing kids, looking for public restrooms, gathering toy construction equipment, or redressing a baby doll...

March 30, I began the first phase of my pre-embryo transfer medications.  Last transfer, my clinic preferred a few weeks of lupron injections followed by estrogen and progesterone.  This clinic prefers birth control to lupron injections.

I have never before in my life been on birth control.  Way back before we knew we had fertility issues, we postponed pregnancy through natural family planning (NFP); we've used both the sympto-thermal method and Creighton.  It was through the latter, well, Creighton's Napro Technology, that we conducted my infertility testing.  Anyway, I don't normally experience too much PMS during each cycle, other than an edginess or shorter fuse during appx days 18 - 24 of my normal cycle.  Birth control SUCKS.  I feel like I've constantly been at that post-peak, short-fuse stage since about four days after starting the medication.  And I've had headaches too, but those could be weather/allergy related...

Our paperwork with both the clinic and our agency is progressing.  The clinic sent me a tentative calendar, detailing my medication regime leading up to the transfer.  Getting closer and closer to that hoped-for May 10 transfer date!  And only six days left of birth control!

We've received permission from our adoption agency to move forward with the 1998 set of embryos and not be held back by delays with the 2003 set.  Joyfully, we've learned that our contract is completed (with the 1998 set) AND those embryos are actually already in Austin at the long-term storage facility a lot of Nightlight donor families use.

And now, after that lengthy update, I feel like I'm forgetting something...

Well, as always, I request your prayers, that our last few outstanding documents be sent over quickly and for the little lives we are about to be entrusted with.

Two and a Half

Well, the two and a half marker has come and gone.  I took kid measurements on almost the right day and am posting in the right month.  Maybe I get some sort of honorable mention mommy award?

Both kids are just over 39 inches tall and 42 pounds.  They wear mostly 5T clothes.  The sleeves are a little long in some shirts and the pants often need to be cuffed, but nothing smaller will fit their shoulders/ribs/hips.  It truly amazes me how close in size these two continue to be.  Oh, and they're potty trained!  Well, at least potty trained enough that our diapering budget has been GREATLY reduced.  And I'm becoming familiar with the location of every public restroom in every building we frequent. 

Two and a half year olds are pretty hilarious, when they're not encouraging your hair to turn white (let's not look too closely at the hair at my temples) or making you foam at the mouth.

These kids love to sing, including theme songs to their favorite tv shows.  We often sing a parody of a Cat in the Hat song at lunchtime:  "Trees, trees, glorious trees" becomes "cheese, cheese, glorious cheese". Cora gave it her own twist today and came waltzing out of the master closet singing "shoes, shoes, glorious shoes" - two pairs of high heels completed her ensemble. 

Mac's memory is incredible.  He's started giving me directions to stores when we're out driving.  Including stores he's only been to once before.  Conversation with him can be somewhat a nightmare, due to his memory and random associations.  He spent a good five minutes the other day detailing a whole list of things he wanted to see.  I eventually realized he was describing the posters in the story room at the library - we haven't been there in over a month.

He and Cora were pretending to be doctors the other day when Mac announced, "I'm Doctor B____!"  I racked my brain, furiously going over the list of all tv doctors I could think trying to decide where this name came from.  And then I realized that's the name of his actual pediatrician.  Whom he's seen twice since we moved here in June. 

We love the Brother Francis videos at our house.  Santa put "Let's Pray" and "The Eucharist" in the kids' stockings.  Not only do we now hear the Our Father sung day in and day out while the kids play, but they're reenacting scenes from the movies, especially the saint portrayals.  "Blessed Imelda wasn't big enough to receive Jesus.  I'm not either."  Holding up a sandwich a lunch, "This is the Lamb of God, the Eucharist".   They'll often use Cora's tea set as a set of chalices, patens, and ciborium and set up the microwave in their kitchen as a tabernacle.  It's not unusual to see one or both of them kneeling in front of their kitchen, "I'm praying like Blessed Imelda!"

Books come to life regularly.  I love listening to them read books to themselves.  Where the Wild Things Are and Going on a Bear Hunt are current favorites.  Oh, and Tikki Tikki Tembo (ever read that book?  Can you still recite the older brother's name?  Passing on a legacy here - first my siblings and I could say his name, now my kids can rattle it off - Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo!)

And then there are the bikes.

 

Cora and Mac each received a balance bike for Christmas.  And they LOVE them.  As long as the bikes stay clean, they can even ride them inside.  These aren't just any ordinary bikes, though, they double as motorcycles.  Routinely, the kids will put on their "Army clothes" and back their "motorcycles" down the driveway. They'll ride madly to some other driveway and then stop and "exercise".  Then they come back to "take a shower" and then they get back on their "motorcycles" and ride to their "offices".  And then it's time for a lunch break and off they zoom to a "restaurant".  Any guesses who they're imitating?

Two and a half is exhausting, exhilarating, and hilarious.  Sometimes I feel like I need a coffee iv put in.  Other times I feel I need to just sit back and watch the circus perform.  And every day I thank God for the joy these two bring to my life.