Little Update

Just a little update...

All our homestudy paperwork is in.  Bryan and I are fingerprinted (fastest process ever - all digital and not at a police station - took at most seven minutes). 

Our home visit is scheduled for Nov. 14, a two and a half hour interview of all of us by a social worker.  Though the agency doesn't technically interview children until they're three years old, it'll be interesting to see if our s.w. can get any coherent answers out of Cora and Mac.  I know they'll have lots to say while she's here; it just will be on their own terms and topics!

My personal goal is to submit our Snowflake Adoption application by December 3.  With luck, our final homestudy write-up will be completed by early December too.  This time frame hopefully will allow time for basic processing before the craziness of the holidays and then we can be matched early 2013.  At least I hope so.  Matching before Christmas would be breathtakingly fast, but we'll need our tax refund before we can move too much further in that process.

I found two fertility clinics in the closest big city that will accept embryos from another clinic.  I'll need to interrogate them, I mean, research them further and chose one.  Potentially we'll have our initial consultation in January, start meds in February, and transfer in March.  If everything runs smoothly.  If not, we just bump the timeline back accordingly.

Right now our only potential speedbump is finances.  Could you please say a prayer that we be granted precisely the money we need for this adoption, precisely when we need it?  Thank you!

ps.  I realize that prayer might be a little too vague for my comfort, knowing how God likes to interpret things His own way.  Feel free to be more specific when you and God have that chat.  ;-)

Oh the craziness that is my brain

I can't say that I worked constantly on our home study.  It was more like a few days on and a few days off.  With the exception of a few details coming from other sources, I'm done with the bulk of the paperwork.  Woohoo! 

Between working on our paperwork and hearing a constant stream of birth/pregnancy announcements, babies have been on my mind.  A lot.

I've always had vivid dreams.  It's no surprise that babies and/or embryo adoption has worked its way into my dreams, albeit in a bizarre fashion.

Last night's dream started with me and Bryan completing some sort of obstacle course.  The final leg, I completed by myself - dangling from wooden handholds while suspended over water.  We finished triumphantly and then moved on to the fertility clinic.  There I was greeted by some Southern belles bustling about and counseling me on good dental care.  They cleaned my teeth for me, chattering away about how sparkling teeth are of utmost importance for an embryo transfer.

The chatter never ceased as I was ushered into the transfer room.  Apparently a match had been made for me - I knew absolutely nothing about the embryos.  I kept requesting more information on the embryos and the genetic family, but I only kept hearing the same generic info from the smiley blank faces over and over.  Three embryos, two blasts and one the next stage.  "There's a next stage?"  I'd ask.  "Oh, honey, of course there is!"  And that'd be all the information I got.

Transfer occurred.  Next thing I knew, I was repacking my bags hurridly, trying to leave the resort before I was charged for an extra day.  A nurse strolled in, "Sorry, dear, the embryos didn't survive the transfer.  You're not pregnant."  And I was left gaping, holding mismatched socks.

"How can that be? You just performed the transfer!"

The nurse strolled back out as I was protesting that it was simply too soon to know the results of a transfer.

I resumed my frantic packing, thinking this was the weirdest resort I'd ever stayed in.  And thinking I didn't like how this transfer went down.  At least my teeth were clean.

Back in the Game

Now that our house in Virginia is finally rented, we're jumping back into the adoption arena again!

While there are many different ways to pursue embryo adoption or embryo donation, we feel very strongly that a traditional adoption process (or as close as one can get) is the most dignified manner of adopting embryos.

This means we'll first procure a home study through a local agency.  Last time we worked with Bethany Christian Services for this step.  They were an expensive choice, but worth it, we thought, because they were located nationwide. We thought future home studies could be streamlined by always working with the same agency.  And then God laughed, because the Army sent us to a state in which Bethany has no presence. 

Instead of Bethany, we're now going to be working with Generations Adoptions (out of Waco) for our home study.  Lucky for us, this agency's home study is way cheaper than last time.  Woo hoo!

Once our home study is completed, we'll move on to the embryo adoption part with Nightlight's Snowflake Program. 

Here's the projected timeline, but since so much of the paperwork has to be compiled from third parties, it's anyone's guess as to the actual timeline.  We also try to not move on to the next step until the prior step is paid for.  Since we're a one income family this time around, things may move a little more slowly due to finances.

October - submit initial paperwork for the home study.
Late fall - complete home study; submit Nightlight's Snowflake application
Late winter - early Spring 2013 - complete Snowflake paperwork; be matched with embryos
Late Spring 2013 - embryo transfer prep and embryo transfer

And I know, now that I've published the projected timeline, that things will not go according to plan.  That's life.  If nothing else, I'm making this public so you can nag me about completing paperwork.  ;-)

Home studies vary a bit from agency to agency.  Here's our checklist for Generations' contracted home study, just to give you a feel for the process.

STEP 1

• Submission of the application for contracted home study
• Submission of supporting documents:
• photo of couple
• photos of home exterior (including front and back yards)
• criminal background check
• copies of drivers licenses
• lists of addresses (include county) for past 10 years
• fingerprinting ($44.20 per adult in the home)
• provide a floor plan of the home (including dimensions of rooms and purposes)
• provide directions to home
• provide autobiography for each parent
• statement of income (last year's W-2 form)
• copy of savings and checking account statements for 2 months
• proof of health insurance coverage
• proof of life insurance coverage
• five references (four from non-relatives, one from a relative) - agency will contact from addresses in application
• proof of employment (pay stubs for each parent)
• good employment record (resume for each parent)
• copy of marriage license
• birth certificates for entire fmaily
• medical evaluation forms for entire family
• sign acknowledgment of behavior policy

STEP 2

• Home study visit completed (with all family members present)
• Environmental inspection
• fire inspection
• $1500.00 home study fee

There are a few key differences that we've already noted between Bethany and Generations.  Price.  The number of interviews (Bethany required four, I think, and Generations just one).  Number of references (Bethany required fewer than Generations).  Depth of list of addresses (means we've got to include a UD address!).

Not only do I have my work cut out for me, if I'm to make my personal goal of submitting Step 1 items by October 1, but I'll also need to start nagging Bryan.  Some couples may operate differently, but I make him write his own autobiography.  And let me tell you, writing an autobiography is not one of his favorite ways to pass time.