Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Oh the craziness that is my brain

I can't say that I worked constantly on our home study.  It was more like a few days on and a few days off.  With the exception of a few details coming from other sources, I'm done with the bulk of the paperwork.  Woohoo! 

Between working on our paperwork and hearing a constant stream of birth/pregnancy announcements, babies have been on my mind.  A lot.

I've always had vivid dreams.  It's no surprise that babies and/or embryo adoption has worked its way into my dreams, albeit in a bizarre fashion.

Last night's dream started with me and Bryan completing some sort of obstacle course.  The final leg, I completed by myself - dangling from wooden handholds while suspended over water.  We finished triumphantly and then moved on to the fertility clinic.  There I was greeted by some Southern belles bustling about and counseling me on good dental care.  They cleaned my teeth for me, chattering away about how sparkling teeth are of utmost importance for an embryo transfer.

The chatter never ceased as I was ushered into the transfer room.  Apparently a match had been made for me - I knew absolutely nothing about the embryos.  I kept requesting more information on the embryos and the genetic family, but I only kept hearing the same generic info from the smiley blank faces over and over.  Three embryos, two blasts and one the next stage.  "There's a next stage?"  I'd ask.  "Oh, honey, of course there is!"  And that'd be all the information I got.

Transfer occurred.  Next thing I knew, I was repacking my bags hurridly, trying to leave the resort before I was charged for an extra day.  A nurse strolled in, "Sorry, dear, the embryos didn't survive the transfer.  You're not pregnant."  And I was left gaping, holding mismatched socks.

"How can that be? You just performed the transfer!"

The nurse strolled back out as I was protesting that it was simply too soon to know the results of a transfer.

I resumed my frantic packing, thinking this was the weirdest resort I'd ever stayed in.  And thinking I didn't like how this transfer went down.  At least my teeth were clean.

1 comment:

  1. Strange... sounds like your brain is playing out your anxiety about the next transfer. In a very weird way. :)

    If it helps, I have bizarre dreams all the time.