Finally, an adoption update

At long last, contracts are in!  It took us a few days to get our personal contracts notarized and mailed off.  In the meanwhile, it took the genetic parents a few weeks to get their portions done.  I'm glad we weren't crunched for time because the process this time around has taken FOREVER.

I had my hysteroscopy completed a few weeks ago. Unpleasant, but all clear.  However, it did bump my timeline back a bit for the embryo transfer.

All we have now is clinic paperwork (have to re-enroll in their system each transfer) and then we'll hit the ground running.

Our four adopted snow babies should be shipped this way within the next few weeks.

I'll start meds end of May or beginning of June.  Really, really, really hoping to avoid birth control and do a "natural" cycle this time.   BC for me equals crazy psycho woman.   Given past experiences, I'd basically need to live in the Confessional by week two on birth control.

Right now, my estimates put the transfer the last week of June.  Yay!!  And yet still so far away...

Embryo Adoption Services of Cedar Park Program Facts (Part 3 of 3)

7 posts in 7 days link-up - day 6

EMBRYO ADOPTION SERVICES OF CEDAR PARK

PROGRAM FACTS

 

Program criteria:

·         Heterosexual married couple

·         Married at least three years

·         Undergo and pass a home study

·         A doctor’s note stating there are “no contraindications to pregnancy” is necessary for potential adoptive mothers

 

Program entails:

·         Mutual matching services (more on that later)

·         Mediation services between both genetic and adoptive parties (optional post birth)

·         Average of two to four month wait for matching.  The more open one’s preferences, the faster the match.

·         Please view the fee link below for a more detailed list of services provided by Cedar Park

 

Fee Schedule:

·         http://adoptembryos.org/our-program/our-fees/

·         In short, Cedar Park’s fee is $5175 ($375 application fee and $4800 program fee).  This fee covers matching, counseling, communication mediation, and records keeping.

·         The fee does not cover the required home study, the embryo transfer, or the necessary medications.

·         Cedar Park offers an optional in-house home study for $1400, if desired.

·         There is no additional fee if you need to be rematched (in the event the first set of embryos and subsequent transfer(s) did not result in live birth).

·         You do not owe Cedar Park anything if there are embryos remaining from your match after a successful pregnancy.  All embryos in a set are considered yours and you may transfer them at a convenient time.  You do need to notify Cedar Park of the outcome of subsequent transfers though.

 

Matching Facts:

·         They have a limited amount of multi-ethnic embryos (there is limited availability of these nationwide – Cedar Park seems to be about average)

·         The mutual matching process is facilitated by the Cedar Park staff.  The staff presents genetic parents with a potential adoptive family’s profile.  Cedar Park has already screened both parties ensuring all basic preferences are met.  Genetic parents (GP) say yes or no to match.  If yes, the adoptive family will be sent the GP’s profile for review.  If no, Cedar Park’s staff chose another set of GP to consider the adoptive family’s profile. The match is only complete when both parties are in agreement and the contracts are signed.

·         Cedar Park offers open, semi-open, or closed adoptions.  Genetic parents participate in the matching in all these scenarios.

·         Adoptive parents receive the following in a genetic parents’ profile:

o   Basic info on embryos – number, developmental stage, date frozen

o   Biography of donating parents

o   Pictures of donating parents and their children, if applicable

o   Medical history

o   All the embryos in the set

 

Additional Facts:

·         Most genetic parents prefer some degree of openness.  This could range from minimal involvement (the GP’s just want active participation in the matching process and notification of any resulting pregnancies) to full openness (GP’s correspond regularly with adoptive family through facebook or email or phone). 

·         Cedar Park will provide post-birth mediation, as desired, between the GP’s and adoptive parents. 

·         Optional counseling is offered to all involved parties.

     
      ·         No selective reduction is allowed.
 
       ·         No surrogates are allowed.

·         Per the Cedar Park contract, adoptive parents are allowed to transfer no more than two embryos per transfer attempt.

NEDC Program Facts (Part 2 of 3)

7 Posts in 7 Days Link-Up - Day 3

 

 

NEDC PROGRAM FACTS

NOTE:  NEDC stands for the National Embryo Donation Center.  My thanks to an internet friend for proofing this fact sheet for me. 

 

You are eligible for their program if you meet these criteria:

·         Heterosexual married couple

·         Married at least three years

·         Undergo and pass a home study

·         Preference given to those without biological children

·         Adoptive mother is 45 or younger

·         Combined age of the couple must not exceed 100 years

·         The adoptive mother must not smoke during the application process, embryo transfer preparation and procedure process, or during pregnancy.

 

Program entails:

·         Travel to Knoxville, TN two or more times for your first transfer

o   Initial consultation and mock transfer

o   Actual FET

o   All monitoring may be done at the patient’s local clinic

·         FET’s are performed one week a month, in odd numbered months

·         Average of six to eight month wait from scheduling initial consult to actual FET.  Longest wait is from first contact to initial consult.  Home study delays could delay whole process.  If doing open adoption, the process may take a little longer to work out open agreements.

·         You may be able to start and proceed with the application process if your home study is not yet completed.  However, an approved home study is required before they will match you, or allow you to have a transfer.

 

Fee Schedule:

·          http://www.embryodonation.org/pdf/NEDC_Fee_Schedule.pdf

·         In short, the NEDC estimated cost is $5022 for your first FET.  This price does not include your home study or medicine, nor does it include any open adoption fees (optional).

·         If your first transfer is not successful, you may return for up to two more tries per pregnancy.  Each additional transfer currently costs appx $3000.

·         If you return for transfer of a sibling, your program fee will be reduced.

·         There is also a donor fee that can vary greatly depending on the cost the donors would like reimbursed (such as shipping fees, lab testing, storage fees, etc.).  The cost is usually not known until the match is complete.

 

Matching Facts:

·         There is a large pool of embryos available and ready to be matched at NEDC.  All embryos have already been shipped to NEDC so you do not need to find your own match.

·         They have a moderate amount of multi-ethnic embryos (there is limited availability of these nationwide – NEDC seems to have more than average).  Ethnic/multi-ethnic embryos are usually reserved for families of the same ethnicity or family make-up (such as in families with multi-ethnic adoptions).

·         Anonymous donation – NEDC will send you basic info on all sets meeting your criteria.  You narrow the list down to a smaller number.  Then NEDC sends you more information on the embryo sets.  You make your choice.  Genetic family does not participate in matching process.

·         Open donation – NEDC will send you appx ten detailed profiles for perusal.  You choose your top match.  Genetic family is notified and must give approval.

 

Additional Facts:

·         The majority of the waiting embryo sets are from anonymous donors.  All prices listed are for their anonymous program.  Because NEDC is a clinic, they outsource for open adoption agreements and mediation between parties.  These are available for additional fees.  An Open Donation Agreement (ODA) is required for families pursuing open adoptions at NEDC.  NEDC works with The National Fertility Support Center to provide open adoption and ODA services.  Currently the fee for up to two ODA’s for the first transfer is $2700.  Additional ODA for a subsequent transfer is $1600 and $900 after that.  Currently, post-birth mediation is available for $299 a year.  See http://www.embryodonation.org/pdf/nfscFees.pdf for details.

·         No selective reduction is allowed.

·         No surrogates.

·         Potential adoptive families are allowed three FET attempts to achieve a full term pregnancy.  If no pregnancy is achieved after three FET’s, they need to seek elsewhere.

·         If there are already adopted children in the household who have a semi-open or open relationship with their first parents, then all matches through NEDC must also be semi-open or open.

·         At each transfer, you must have at least five or six embryos adopted/reserved.  If your primary set does not consist of enough embryos, you must choose a back-up set.  If two sets are chosen, they must be complimentary openness, either both anonymous or both open. 

·         As mentioned previously, you are allowed three FET attempts per pregnancy.  If you have not achieved a live birth after three transfers but you still have embryos adopted/reserved, they will be returned to the program.

 

Snowflakes Program Facts (Part 1 of 3)

SNOWFLAKES PROGRAM FACTS

 

Pretty flexible program criteria:

·         Married couples or singles may apply (much smaller pool for singles)

·         Undergo and pass a home study

·         If adoptive mother is older than 45, a doctor’s “permission note,” for lack of a better term, must be provided

 

Program entails:

·         Mutual matching services (more on that later)

·         Embryo adoption services patterned off of their infant adoption program, as relevant

·         Mandatory post-birth record keeping (adoptive family sends updates to agency)

·         Mediation services between both genetic and adoptive parties (optional post birth)

·         Average of one to four month wait for matching.  The more open one’s preferences, the faster the match.

 

Fee Schedule:

·       http://www.nightlight.org/simple-successful-snowflakes/

·         In short, the Snowflakes fee is $8000.  This fee covers matching, counseling, communication mediation, and records keeping.

·         The fee does not cover the required home study, the embryo transfer, or the necessary medications.

·         There is an additional $2000 fee if you need to be rematched (in the event the first set of embryos and subsequent  transfer(s) did not result in live birth).

·         You do not owe Snowflakes anything if there are embryos remaining from your match after a successful pregnancy.  All embryos in a set are considered yours and you may transfer them at a convenient time.  You do need to notify Snowflakes of the outcome of subsequent transfers though.

 

Matching Facts:

·         They have a limited amount of multi-ethnic embryos (there is limited availability of these nationwide – Snowflakes seems to be about average)

·         Mutual matching – the majority of Snowflakes’ matches are considered “mutual matching”.  The Snowflakes’ staff presents genetic parents with a potential adoptive family’s profile.  Snowflakes has already screened both parties ensuring all basic preferences are met.  Genetic parents (GP) say yes or no to match.  If yes, the adoptive family will be sent the GP’s profile for review.  If no, the Snowflakes’ staff chose another set of GP to consider the adoptive family’s profile. The match is only complete when both parties are in agreement and the contracts are signed.

·         The vast majority of adoptions are open, semi-open, or closed.  Genetic parents participate in the matching in these scenarios.

·         A very limited number of donated embryo sets are considered “anonymous”.  In this scenario, the GP’s waive all involvement.

·         Adoptive parents receive the following in a genetic parents’ profile:

o   Basic info on embryos – number, developmental stage, date frozen

o   Biography of donating parents

o   Pictures of donating parents and their children, if applicable

o   Three generations of medical history

o   All the embryos in the set

 

Additional Facts:

·         Most genetic parents prefer an open contract.  This could range from minimal involvement (the GP’s just want active participation in the matching process and notification of any resulting pregnancies) to full openness (GP’s correspond regularly with adoptive family through facebook or email or phone). 

·         Snowflakes offers anonymous, closed, semi-open, and open adoptions.

·         The Snowflakes Program will provide post-birth mediation, as desired, between the GP’s and adoptive parents.  For example, any written correspondence that takes place between my twins’ genetic parents and me is sent through the agency.

·         Post birth records are required to be sent to Snowflakes through the resulting child(ren)’s fifth birthday.  Records are to be sent at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 12 months, two years, three years, four years, and at five years.  These records are for Snowflakes, not the genetic parents.

·         No selective reduction is allowed.

·         Surrogates are allowed.

·         While there are no limits to the amount of times you can try to achieve live birth, Snowflakes does encourage you to visit with your doctor if you have not achieved a successful pregnancy after three FET’s.

·         Adoptive parents are strongly advised to transfer no more embryos than one is willing to carry.

Green Light!

It's amazing how easily children's poems get absorbed into my brain.  "Green is go and red is stop.  Yellow is peaches with cream on top..."

The HSG slides were found, misfiled in the office.  I've longed to share this good news with you, but we made a last minute decision to visit the grandparents over the weekend.  And I hate typing on the ipad which meant the news had to wait.  So, a belated THANK YOU for your prayers!

Last Wednesday was my final day on birth control.  Today is cycle day two (hopefully last cycle for oh, at least eighteen months!) and the first day of estradiol (a form of oral estrogen).  I had my baseline sonogram this morning and everything looks as it should. 

I had my pill bottle on the kitchen table during lunch and, after questions, explained to the kids that this is one of the medicines I have to take to get my tummy ready for the baby seeds.  There was some initial confusion, as Cora thought these little blue pills were the baby seeds.  "No, no," I explained, "Momma and Daddy will go to the doctor in two and a half weeks and then the doctor will put the baby seeds in my tummy.  And then a few weeks later, you and Mac can come with us to the doctor to find out how many babies are growing."

We have more of a timeline now:

April 27 - increase daily estradiol

May 6 - next sonogram in Austin (another uterine lining check to see that everything's cooperative)

May 7 - begin progesterone (vaginal suppositories this time as opposed to the injections from our previous transfers)

May 10 - Day three Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) in Austin (all three embryos, assuming they survive the thaw, will be transferred) Since these are day three embryos and we're doing a day three transfer, I assume the embryos will be thawed that morning and our transfer will be mid-morning or early afternoon.

Appx May 21 - Official pregnancy test, at a local lab

May 24 - MOVE

Week of June 10 - Pregnancy sonogram in Austin (first head-count!)

And then June 18 - 19, our tenth anniversary trip to Sinya.  Even if we do nothing for those few days, the getaway will still be wonderful, and much needed!



As a side note on this post's title:  The kids love playing "Red Light Green Light" on their bikes.  They can correctly tell you that red light means stop, yellow means slow, and green means go.  However, on their bikes, green means go, yellow means slow, and red means as fast as you can go.  And then Momma will turn on her "sirens" and chase you and give you a ticket.  They've been even more interested in this game since I recently had some, ahem, real life ticket experience.  speeding, not running a light, and no sirens were used.  And I was very compliant, unlike Cora and Mac when I pull them over.