Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Crossroads

While I never had my suspicions confirmed, I'm pretty sure the first genetic parents to consider our matching profile turned us down.  If I had to guess, I'd say our "rejection" was due to religious reasons.  Option A:  We're too religious.  Option B:  We're not religious enough.  Option C:  We're the wrong religion. 


                                                      Option D:  I look funny. 

Whatever their reasoning, I'm not actually bothered at all.  I'd argue that it's part of the genetic parents' responsibility to find suitable adoptive parents for their embryos.  That's not a decision that can be lightly made and I can only hope that they find peace in their decision.  That being said, I understand that not everyone can fully appreciate our awesomeness. ;-)

We're pretty openminded in our matching criteria.  We're open to most races and questionable family history/genetics don't scare us.  Oh, and we would prefer a semi-open adoption, mediated by the agency (with room for adaptation, per the children's request).  There are probably only two limiting factors in matching us:  we want a large enough embryo set to do another transfer down the road, a "sibling transfer"; and we do not want embryos created with donor gametes (donor eggs or donor sperm).  Well, I guess our religion limits us some too - there's one public profile on Snowflake's page that says "no Catholics".  It would stand to reason that there are more like-minded families that do not have public profiles.

Anyway, I got an email from the Snowflake Program Monday morning.  They said they'd met some roadblocks in honoring all our criteria and wanted to present us with some options (4 actually).  After much discussion and prayer, we're now angling down a slightly different path.  At this point we're now attempting to be matched with two families, each family having a smaller (single transfer's worth) of embryos.  Only one set of embryos would be thawed at a time, so while both sets would be adopted, one set would be "on hold" for a longer period of time.

I'm actually really excited about this option but know it could spell more of a logistical nightmare for the agency and potentially the clinic, depending on how picky the latter is.

While I don't have the foggiest idea who we will end up matched with, I did provide the Snowflake Program with some direction.  There are three profiles that caught our eye on the "waiting embryos" page.  I passed on these names to Snowflake for consideration:  "Kay and Fred", "Margaret and Charlie", and "Carl and Sadie". 

On top of all that hullabaloo (sp?), we also have had some minor drama with taxes and Bryan's job. 

Taxes - I think my dad saved us MAJORLY.  We've never filed before as rental property owners and, as best we can tell, our basic version of Ta.xcut, plus our inexperience with certain areas of filing, left us screwed over.  Enter my dad.  While I don't have the final numbers yet, I think my dad (tax guru to family and friends) saved the day!

Bryan's job - Big interview today at 1800 CT.  Numbers keep changing, but I think he's one of nine candidates for a very important slot.  This job would be fantastic for his career and would also bring us extra money.  But, it would be LOUSY for family life for the next twelve months.  I'm just praying that he interviews to the best of his ability while maintaining honesty about his personal needs/wants.

So, yeah, that's that.  My brain's been a little frazzled.  I'm trying hard not to be overwhelmed by the various and sundry "what if" scenarios my brain keeps throwing at me.  Personal prayer, Mass, social time, and wine have all helped me cope thus far...

 

1 comment:

  1. Just so you know in our first EA with Snowflakes, we were passed on by the first adoptive family. It was #2 that chose us.

    My guesses for us? too old, too many kids, homeschooled, too religious, not "city" people...
    I had to remind myself that the Lord had our children already chosen and needed to wait on his timing alone!

    p.s. sorry about the cliffhanger. I will get to it soon : )

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