1. I woke in the wee hours of the morning Wednesday. Before I rolled over to look at the clock, I told myself if were after 3:00, I'd take a pregnancy test. If it were before 3:00, I'd have to force myself back to sleep. It was 3:45. I stumbled out of bed and struggled unwrapping the test, my hands were shaking so badly. I POAS and waited the requisite amount of time. It was positive. I just stared at it in disbelief. I debated waking Bryan then or leaving it on his sink as a surprise when he woke later. I opted for the latter.
2. It was not easy to fall back to sleep. My mind was racing, alternating between "Thank you, Jesus!" to "oh, I want to wake Bryan right now and tell him!" to saying Hail Mary's in an effort to calm my mind. I eventually dozed off to be somewhat woken up by Bryan's alarm at 5:41.
3. His reaction was exactly what I hoped. I stayed in bed, eyes closed, and listened. He stumbled into the bathroom, turned on the light, and picked up the test. There was a pause, in which I imagine he was forcing his sleep bleary eyes to focus and read the test. And the next thing I knew, Bryan was racing into the bedroom, and pelting me with kisses.
4. The kids were good sports with our drive down to get my bloodwork completed and I got my results mid-afternoon. My hcg at 9 days past a five day transfer (9dp5dt) was a 300. The clinic's goal was a 50.
5. I had my follow-up bloodwork yesterday to measure the rate of increase. There is a huge range of acceptable increase rates for hcg, but, as a rule of thumb, clinics like to see the number double about every 48 hours. My number was 874 (we would have been comfortable with anything 600 or higher). This means the doubling time was about 31 hours.
6. What do all those numbers means? Well, hcg levels very hugely by person and pregnancy. Personally speaking, these are the highest numbers and fastest rate of increase I've experienced. But that doesn't really amount to much. (There's at least one woman in my Facebook EA group who had higher hcg numbers with her singleton pregnancy than her twin pregnancy.) I would make a guess that both Dash and Violet are snuggled in and growing. However, we won't know anything until my first ultrasound.
7. First ultrasound? My clinic does things on the later end of things so our first ultrasound won't be until around October 10. We haven't scheduled it yet.
We are elated. Someone asked if the kids were excited. Honestly, the kids never assumed anything otherwise. They have just always trusted, with child-like simplicity, that Dash and Violet were indeed growing.
I am struggling a bit with fear, as I feel like we have certain "hurdles" to overcome. Hurdles may not be the right word, but I think every woman who has experienced miscarriage breathes a little more easily after she has passed the point of prior miscarriages.
I am heartened by the very good numbers and by the few pregnancy symptoms I am experiencing thus far. I am daily making the choice to seek joy. For TODAY, I am pregnant. TODAY, God has graced us with new life.
Thanks be to God!