We're back "in the game" again. I updated our matching profile and sent it in to the adoption agency today.
I am excited but also a little battle worn. Each failure or loss marks you in some invisible way. I now have ten babies in heaven, six of whom graced my womb for at least a little while before journeying onwards. (Four didn't survive the thawing process.). I guess that means I'm amassing a little army in heaven, praying on our behalf.
In the last two weeks I've learned a few things.
One, I've learned Bryan won't be deploying in the fall. He transitions in a few months to a different position that's not on a current deployment schedule. Hooray!
Two, I've learned that my miscarriage was not caused by a clotting disorder. All tests came back in the normal range.
These last two weeks I've tried to simplify my life and just enjoy the children I can put my arms around. Fortunately for me, they're not too old for cuddles. Although they have developed a fondness for big sloppy kisses. Do not underestimate their ability to slime you.
I do not know what the future will bring. I want to learn from the past but not dwell there. I want to learn to live today in a spirit of hope and joy.