Well, it's been a while since I've written about anything remotely related to adoption. Guess I should get back to the original purpose of this blog. ;-)
You may recall that way back in the spring we were actually matched with two different families. We had originally requested one larger set of embryos but that proved to be too difficult. So instead we were matched with two smaller sets of embryos: Set A, three day 3's from 1998, and Set B, two day 6's from 2003.
Paperwork progressed flawlessly with Set A and that's the set we transferred in May.
There were multiple delays in processing paperwork with Set B and so we finally issued a sort of ultimatum through the adoption agency - please resolve all issues by end of July or we may be forced to reconsider this match. Perhaps this was harsh, but the original paperwork requests went out in March!
In the meanwhile, I did some digging, trying to figure out exactly what our clinic was requiring and why the genetic father was having such a difficult time wrapping up his end of things. First he just wasn't doing anything with his screening request. Finally, by end of June/beginning of July, he took his infectious disease screening (IDS) packet to two different locations and was denied the testing.
Our current clinic here requires all genetic parents to submit current IDS results before the clinic will accept the embryos into their facility. I didn't remember doing this in 2009 with our first transfers, so I got further clarification from the Snowflake Program.
Within the last few years, one of the government agencies (can't remember now which one it was) recommended that all fertility clinics obtain current IDS results from all donating parties for embryos created from 2005 to the present. Genetic parents already submit IDS results prior to the collection of gametes, so this would essentially be a repeat test. Our clinic, for the sake of thoroughness I guess, was trying to collect this data from all genetic parents, regardless of the date of origination. If you'll notice, both of our adopted sets are outside of the recommended window.
Given these difficulties, our agency presented another option: we, the adopting parents, could sign a waiver and bypass the retesting of the genetic father. The adoption agency had already cleared this route with the clinic. It's times like these when I GREATLY appreciate working with an agency rather than trying to navigate all of this on my own. I may have pulled my hair out in frustration without the agency as mediators!
We are now all squared away on paperwork. If finances and life in general allowed it, then we could already be prepping now for a September transfer. We're not.
As much as it pains me to wait, the pressures of Bryan's job and our finances are pushing us to wait a few more months.
I think, tentatively speaking, that we hope to do our next transfer the week before Thanksgiving. The embryos won't be shipped from their storage facility to our clinic until I start meds. And, by my estimate, I won't start meds until the cycle prior so approximately early-mid October.
I hate waiting, I really do. But I know I had to make some mature adult decisions about the timing of this transfer. Sometimes, I don't like being an adult.
In the meanwhile, I'm trying really hard to just live in the moment and embrace life as it is now. The possibility of failure is much more real than it ever was before, so I'm trying hard to just shut that out.
I'm collecting a group of women to run a women's only mud run at the end of September. I'm going on walks most days and exercising more. I'm playing board games and t-ball with the kids while singing loudly to Disney songs on Pandora. I'm scheming up ways to make a preschool co-op happen with families from church.
And at the end of each day I'm writing things I'm thankful for in a little bedside journal. I'm doing my darndest to stay positive, stay optimistic, and have HOPE.