Monday, June 24, 2013

How to tell your child about embryo adoption

A lot of bloggers right now have been posting their own ways of introducing embryo adoption to their children.  In addition to regular, child-led conversation, I made this board book for the kids and gave one to each of them for their first birthday.  I've shared this script before, but thought it a good idea to share again.  Plus I'm kinda in a blogging funk and didn't want to leave my blog "inactive" for so long!
It is interesting to note that going through the embryo adoption process again with the twins at the age they are (2.5) has made for some great conversations about EA, miscarriage, and even life and death.  Mac still is very sad that the baby seeds were called home to Jesus before he got to meet them.  We've named all eight of our snowbabies that bypassed our arms for the arms of Christ - Mac can rattle off all their names.  Just had a conversation about our eight snowbabies in a fast food restaurant bathroom the other day - never know when little minds will latch onto an idea!

Cora and Mac: Welcome to the Family!
Picture on each page plus front and back cover
Pg 1. Once upon a time, Momma and Daddy fell in love and got married.

Pg 2. We loved each other so much, we asked God for children.
Pg 3. God heard our prayers and said “I have something special planned for you.”


Pg 4. Meanwhile, God gave another mother and father lots of blessings – three big babies and some little bitty baby seeds.
Pg 5. This other mother and father said “our hearts are full! Let’s share our little bitty baby seeds with someone who doesn’t have any.”

Pg 6. Some nice people helped introduce us to the other mother and father.
Pg 7. We agreed to adopt the little bitty baby seeds and love them forever and ever.

Pg 8. A doctor put the little bitty baby seeds in Momma’s tummy to grow bigger and stronger.

Pg 9. Two little baby seeds grew and grew and grew.

Pg 10. And Momma’s belly grew and grew and grew.

Pg 11. Finally the doctor said it’s time to meet your babies. We were so excited!

Pg 12. You were born on July 18, Cora first and then Mac.

Pg 13. We rejoiced! God had answered our prayers and had given us two beautiful healthy babies.

Pg 14. And one month after you entered our family, you were baptized and joined Jesus’s family.

My blog header is actually the picture from the back cover and I used a different picture of the twins for the cover.  It took me weeks to get the script to my liking.  And then, I discovered that finding pictures was even harder! 
As the kids age, we've tweaked language a little bit.  Originally, I read an abbreviated version of the story above.  Remember, they got these boardbooks for their first birthday.  Bryan was deployed when the kids received these books, so the pictures of Daddy were of extra interest at the time.  The picture of their genetic siblings has always been of interest (side note - right now, we just call their three genetic siblings by name and gloss over the exact relationship) because Cora looks a lot like her genetic sisters. 
With our recent EA process, I've started introducing slightly more correct language, "womb"  and "embryo" and even "uterus" have entered our conversation.  I've used the words interchangeably with their simpler counterparts "tummy" and "baby seeds" to ease the transition. 
So far, so good, though I'm pretty sure Cora and Mac think this is how all kids come to be.  :-)


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