It's amazing how easily children's poems get absorbed into my brain. "Green is go and red is stop. Yellow is peaches with cream on top..."
The HSG slides were found, misfiled in the office. I've longed to share this good news with you, but we made a last minute decision to visit the grandparents over the weekend. And I hate typing on the ipad which meant the news had to wait. So, a belated THANK YOU for your prayers!
Last Wednesday was my final day on birth control. Today is cycle day two (hopefully last cycle for oh, at least eighteen months!) and the first day of estradiol (a form of oral estrogen). I had my baseline sonogram this morning and everything looks as it should.
I had my pill bottle on the kitchen table during lunch and, after questions, explained to the kids that this is one of the medicines I have to take to get my tummy ready for the baby seeds. There was some initial confusion, as Cora thought these little blue pills were the baby seeds. "No, no," I explained, "Momma and Daddy will go to the doctor in two and a half weeks and then the doctor will put the baby seeds in my tummy. And then a few weeks later, you and Mac can come with us to the doctor to find out how many babies are growing."
We have more of a timeline now:
April 27 - increase daily estradiol
May 6 - next sonogram in Austin (another uterine lining check to see that everything's cooperative)
May 7 - begin progesterone (vaginal suppositories this time as opposed to the injections from our previous transfers)
May 10 - Day three Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) in Austin (all three embryos, assuming they survive the thaw, will be transferred) Since these are day three embryos and we're doing a day three transfer, I assume the embryos will be thawed that morning and our transfer will be mid-morning or early afternoon.
Appx May 21 - Official pregnancy test, at a local lab
May 24 - MOVE
Week of June 10 - Pregnancy sonogram in Austin (first head-count!)
And then June 18 - 19, our tenth anniversary trip to Sinya. Even if we do nothing for those few days, the getaway will still be wonderful, and much needed!
As a side note on this post's title: The kids love playing "Red Light Green Light" on their bikes. They can correctly tell you that red light means stop, yellow means slow, and green means go. However, on their bikes, green means go, yellow means slow, and red means as fast as you can go. And then Momma will turn on her "sirens" and chase you and give you a ticket. They've been even more interested in this game since I recently had some, ahem, real life ticket experience. speeding, not running a light, and no sirens were used. And I was very compliant, unlike Cora and Mac when I pull them over.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
One more thing
Part of me hates asking a prayer request of you, given that the people in the Boston area, well, really, all over the world, need them so much more urgently than we do. But, if you can spare a few seconds to offer up a little prayer for us?
Lining up an embryo transfer while working with an out of town clinic has been like connecting the dots when the dots appear at their own leisure. And then sometimes disappear. And then sometimes the pen I'm using to connect the dots runs out of ink.
Our May 10 transfer is coming down to one, that's it, just ONE detail. My fertility doctor needs to receive and review my HSG slides by this Friday, April 19, for our May transfer to be a go. My local hospital claims to have mailed the slides last Tuesday, May 9. And the fertility clinic has not received them yet. From hospital to clinic it's maybe an hour and a half drive. I have NO IDEA where those darn slides are. At this point I could have walked them faster. Not that I would, but you get the idea.
Dear Lord, I know I ask a lot of You, and sometimes I'm a little (ok maybe a lot) whiny, and there are so very many people in need in the world. But could you please help us stay on track for this May 10 transfer? We would so very like to meet our next three adopted snowbabies that day and begin what we hope will be a life long journey of teaching them about You. Fiat voluntas tua.
Lining up an embryo transfer while working with an out of town clinic has been like connecting the dots when the dots appear at their own leisure. And then sometimes disappear. And then sometimes the pen I'm using to connect the dots runs out of ink.
Our May 10 transfer is coming down to one, that's it, just ONE detail. My fertility doctor needs to receive and review my HSG slides by this Friday, April 19, for our May transfer to be a go. My local hospital claims to have mailed the slides last Tuesday, May 9. And the fertility clinic has not received them yet. From hospital to clinic it's maybe an hour and a half drive. I have NO IDEA where those darn slides are. At this point I could have walked them faster. Not that I would, but you get the idea.
Dear Lord, I know I ask a lot of You, and sometimes I'm a little (ok maybe a lot) whiny, and there are so very many people in need in the world. But could you please help us stay on track for this May 10 transfer? We would so very like to meet our next three adopted snowbabies that day and begin what we hope will be a life long journey of teaching them about You. Fiat voluntas tua.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Discussing Adoption
We're just about the only family at our church Moms' Group that doesn't have a baby. Cora and Mac both like babies, but Cora especially is in love with them. She asks, each time Moms' Group meets, if she can hold whichever baby I'm holding. While you can't leave a two and a half year old unattended with a baby, Cora does very well with the non-walking crowd. We have had a few discussions on how you can't force a crawling baby into your lap though...
For Cora and Mac's first birthday, I made them board books explaining in the most basic terms how they joined their family. You can see the transcript here.
As we've progressed in our current adoption, I've asked the kids if they want more girl babies or boy babies or both. They definitely want both and are looking forward to teaching their new siblings all their current tricks.
Today's lunch was probably the most detailed adoption conversation we've had. I can't remember how exactly the conversation started, but I remember several tidbits from the middle.
Me: Most mommas and daddies can make their own baby seeds. Daddy and I can't. Sometimes other mommas and daddies have extra baby seeds and they decide to share. That's what happened with yall. Another Daddy and Momma named G. and T. had some extra baby seeds. They loved them very much but couldn't use them. So, after we signed lots and lots of papers and adopted you, G. and T. gave us the extra baby seeds. A doctor put them in my tummy. One baby seed was a Mac baby seed. One baby seed was a Cora baby seed.
Mac: When I get bigger, I'm gonna have baby seeds in my tummy.
Me: Well, no, you can't. Girls can become mommas. Baby seeds only grow in a momma's tummy. Boys can grow up to be daddies.
Cora: I'm gonna have lots of babies in my tummy.
Me: Would you like to have more brothers and sisters? In one month, a doctor is going to put more baby seeds in my tummy. Just like when we got you, we're adopting baby seeds from a family that has extra. B. and S. love their baby seeds, but can't use them and so they're giving them to us.
Cora: sidetracked, asks about the fly buzzing about
Mac: Tell me more about the babies!
Me: We need to pray to God to ask that He help these little baby seeds live and grow and become big and strong. All babies need God's help to grow.
Mac: And we can teach them to ride bikes!
Cora: And I'll share my toys!
Me: Well, remember, when babies are just born, they don't know how to do too much. They can just eat, cry, sleep, and poop. But when they get bigger, you can teach them.
The conversation then drifted off into pregnancy stories of Mac and Cora, tales of poop, and the whereabouts of one pesky fly.
For Cora and Mac's first birthday, I made them board books explaining in the most basic terms how they joined their family. You can see the transcript here.
As we've progressed in our current adoption, I've asked the kids if they want more girl babies or boy babies or both. They definitely want both and are looking forward to teaching their new siblings all their current tricks.
Today's lunch was probably the most detailed adoption conversation we've had. I can't remember how exactly the conversation started, but I remember several tidbits from the middle.
Me: Most mommas and daddies can make their own baby seeds. Daddy and I can't. Sometimes other mommas and daddies have extra baby seeds and they decide to share. That's what happened with yall. Another Daddy and Momma named G. and T. had some extra baby seeds. They loved them very much but couldn't use them. So, after we signed lots and lots of papers and adopted you, G. and T. gave us the extra baby seeds. A doctor put them in my tummy. One baby seed was a Mac baby seed. One baby seed was a Cora baby seed.
Mac: When I get bigger, I'm gonna have baby seeds in my tummy.
Me: Well, no, you can't. Girls can become mommas. Baby seeds only grow in a momma's tummy. Boys can grow up to be daddies.
Cora: I'm gonna have lots of babies in my tummy.
Me: Would you like to have more brothers and sisters? In one month, a doctor is going to put more baby seeds in my tummy. Just like when we got you, we're adopting baby seeds from a family that has extra. B. and S. love their baby seeds, but can't use them and so they're giving them to us.
Cora: sidetracked, asks about the fly buzzing about
Mac: Tell me more about the babies!
Me: We need to pray to God to ask that He help these little baby seeds live and grow and become big and strong. All babies need God's help to grow.
Mac: And we can teach them to ride bikes!
Cora: And I'll share my toys!
Me: Well, remember, when babies are just born, they don't know how to do too much. They can just eat, cry, sleep, and poop. But when they get bigger, you can teach them.
The conversation then drifted off into pregnancy stories of Mac and Cora, tales of poop, and the whereabouts of one pesky fly.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
I'm baaaack!
Sometimes I feel like the little engine that could. But instead of a steep mountain to chug up, I'm on some sort of psychedelic roller coaster.
Last Monday I had to have more bloodwork done as the lab accidently keyed in an incorrect test as part of my infectious disease panel. The kids were troopers through that appointment and were fascinated by the mechanics involved in the blood draw.
Last Thursday I had my hysterosalpingogram (hsg). I was told by the hospital during pre-registration that I had to have someone with me at all times. And, since it was nap time, this meant I had to have someone at the house watching the kids. Luckily for me, Grandma drove up to help out. And then it turned out the hospital didn't care whether or not I was accompanied during my five minute, uncomfortable procedure. Before all these fun times went on, though, I had to go to my OB and "prove" that I wasn't pregnant (urinalysis). Again, the kids had to go with me for this part. "Momma, why are you peeing in a cup? That's so silly!"
While I was in the radiology/imaging waiting room at the hospital, I learned my grandfather had passed on. I'm a crier, so it was challenging to not cry in that waiting room or later during the procedure. I held it together by being somewhat withdrawn. Perhaps the tech and doctor just thought I was nervous.
The kids and I spent the last three days in Oklahoma commemorating the life of my grandfather and visiting with extended family. While the kids did really well with sleeping in hotels at odd hours and being surrounded by "strangers", I'm not so sure I want to do extended car travel again with a certain little girl who wants to potty every 30 - 60 minutes. Oh, and just so you know, pull-ups don't hold much liquid. The bright side of traveling with toddlers is I never once had time to be overwhelmed by emotion. No time for tears when you're chasing kids, looking for public restrooms, gathering toy construction equipment, or redressing a baby doll...
March 30, I began the first phase of my pre-embryo transfer medications. Last transfer, my clinic preferred a few weeks of lupron injections followed by estrogen and progesterone. This clinic prefers birth control to lupron injections.
I have never before in my life been on birth control. Way back before we knew we had fertility issues, we postponed pregnancy through natural family planning (NFP); we've used both the sympto-thermal method and Creighton. It was through the latter, well, Creighton's Napro Technology, that we conducted my infertility testing. Anyway, I don't normally experience too much PMS during each cycle, other than an edginess or shorter fuse during appx days 18 - 24 of my normal cycle. Birth control SUCKS. I feel like I've constantly been at that post-peak, short-fuse stage since about four days after starting the medication. And I've had headaches too, but those could be weather/allergy related...
Our paperwork with both the clinic and our agency is progressing. The clinic sent me a tentative calendar, detailing my medication regime leading up to the transfer. Getting closer and closer to that hoped-for May 10 transfer date! And only six days left of birth control!
We've received permission from our adoption agency to move forward with the 1998 set of embryos and not be held back by delays with the 2003 set. Joyfully, we've learned that our contract is completed (with the 1998 set) AND those embryos are actually already in Austin at the long-term storage facility a lot of Nightlight donor families use.
And now, after that lengthy update, I feel like I'm forgetting something...
Well, as always, I request your prayers, that our last few outstanding documents be sent over quickly and for the little lives we are about to be entrusted with.
Last Monday I had to have more bloodwork done as the lab accidently keyed in an incorrect test as part of my infectious disease panel. The kids were troopers through that appointment and were fascinated by the mechanics involved in the blood draw.
Last Thursday I had my hysterosalpingogram (hsg). I was told by the hospital during pre-registration that I had to have someone with me at all times. And, since it was nap time, this meant I had to have someone at the house watching the kids. Luckily for me, Grandma drove up to help out. And then it turned out the hospital didn't care whether or not I was accompanied during my five minute, uncomfortable procedure. Before all these fun times went on, though, I had to go to my OB and "prove" that I wasn't pregnant (urinalysis). Again, the kids had to go with me for this part. "Momma, why are you peeing in a cup? That's so silly!"
While I was in the radiology/imaging waiting room at the hospital, I learned my grandfather had passed on. I'm a crier, so it was challenging to not cry in that waiting room or later during the procedure. I held it together by being somewhat withdrawn. Perhaps the tech and doctor just thought I was nervous.
The kids and I spent the last three days in Oklahoma commemorating the life of my grandfather and visiting with extended family. While the kids did really well with sleeping in hotels at odd hours and being surrounded by "strangers", I'm not so sure I want to do extended car travel again with a certain little girl who wants to potty every 30 - 60 minutes. Oh, and just so you know, pull-ups don't hold much liquid. The bright side of traveling with toddlers is I never once had time to be overwhelmed by emotion. No time for tears when you're chasing kids, looking for public restrooms, gathering toy construction equipment, or redressing a baby doll...
March 30, I began the first phase of my pre-embryo transfer medications. Last transfer, my clinic preferred a few weeks of lupron injections followed by estrogen and progesterone. This clinic prefers birth control to lupron injections.
I have never before in my life been on birth control. Way back before we knew we had fertility issues, we postponed pregnancy through natural family planning (NFP); we've used both the sympto-thermal method and Creighton. It was through the latter, well, Creighton's Napro Technology, that we conducted my infertility testing. Anyway, I don't normally experience too much PMS during each cycle, other than an edginess or shorter fuse during appx days 18 - 24 of my normal cycle. Birth control SUCKS. I feel like I've constantly been at that post-peak, short-fuse stage since about four days after starting the medication. And I've had headaches too, but those could be weather/allergy related...
Our paperwork with both the clinic and our agency is progressing. The clinic sent me a tentative calendar, detailing my medication regime leading up to the transfer. Getting closer and closer to that hoped-for May 10 transfer date! And only six days left of birth control!
We've received permission from our adoption agency to move forward with the 1998 set of embryos and not be held back by delays with the 2003 set. Joyfully, we've learned that our contract is completed (with the 1998 set) AND those embryos are actually already in Austin at the long-term storage facility a lot of Nightlight donor families use.
And now, after that lengthy update, I feel like I'm forgetting something...
Well, as always, I request your prayers, that our last few outstanding documents be sent over quickly and for the little lives we are about to be entrusted with.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Thankful
Wow, someone must have a direct line to God! I wrote my prayer request yesterday for the genetic parents. And, as of this morning, our agency has been able to resume contact with them (after about a three week lapse).
Thank you for your intercession on our behalf! We are moving forward, once again.
Thank you for your intercession on our behalf! We are moving forward, once again.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Stressed
Moving would be a good reason to be stressed. Except that we, amazingly enough, already found the next house we want to rent. It'll be so nice to live in a house that's been loved by its owners, as opposed to the plan white box standard rental. And it's so nice to check something off our list! And, as an added perk, the landlords allow all types of dogs, so we might, just might, have another Great Dane in our future!
The approaching embryo transfer could be a good reason to be stressed. And it is, but not in the way one may think. We've selected a tentative transfer date, May 10, and are just in a holding pattern with the clinic until it's time to start "manipulating" my cycle.
Our tax refund came in so now we have the money to finance these last steps. Another HUGE stressor checked off my list.
One set of genetic parents is on top of things - the infectious disease screening and paperwork. The other set of GP is MIA and not responding to the agency emails. It's spring break time so maybe that could account for the gap in communication. I can keep telling myself that, but I know that it's been several weeks since the Snowflake Program has received communication from this family. Contracts haven't been signed yet which means embryos can't be shipped yet which means no embryo transfer.
I'm trying not to be a melodramatic lady, though you may not be able to tell that from my previous sentence. :-/ We still have some time. We're about six weeks out from the proposed transfer date - it is definitely still possible!
That brings me to today's prayer request - can you please ask God to give these genetic parents a nudge? That they please resume communication in a timely manner?
The approaching embryo transfer could be a good reason to be stressed. And it is, but not in the way one may think. We've selected a tentative transfer date, May 10, and are just in a holding pattern with the clinic until it's time to start "manipulating" my cycle.
Our tax refund came in so now we have the money to finance these last steps. Another HUGE stressor checked off my list.
One set of genetic parents is on top of things - the infectious disease screening and paperwork. The other set of GP is MIA and not responding to the agency emails. It's spring break time so maybe that could account for the gap in communication. I can keep telling myself that, but I know that it's been several weeks since the Snowflake Program has received communication from this family. Contracts haven't been signed yet which means embryos can't be shipped yet which means no embryo transfer.
I'm trying not to be a melodramatic lady, though you may not be able to tell that from my previous sentence. :-/ We still have some time. We're about six weeks out from the proposed transfer date - it is definitely still possible!
That brings me to today's prayer request - can you please ask God to give these genetic parents a nudge? That they please resume communication in a timely manner?
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
The Month of May
The Month of May cometh and it looks to be VERY BUSY.
Our embryo transfer dates are not set in stone. I don't know if they're set in anything right now. I've got a tentative timeline in my head that we're adhering to based on cycle estimations. If the transfer is performed based on my cycles, and if my cycles continue as they have been, then the big FET will be somewhere between May 10 - 14. Or it may not.
These dates can be altered by the drugs I'll be using to prep my body for the transfer.
Apart from the physical coordination/manipulation necessary for an embryo transfer, there's also the logistical coordination. We're adopting embryos from two families who reside in two different states. Each genetic parent has to complete current infectious disease screening on top of relinquishment paperwork and communication contracts. And the embryos have to be shipped from wherever they are currently stored to our clinic. Storks do not bring EA babies - FedEx does!
I have a list of things that we have to accomplish too. Both Bryan and I had to complete our own infectious disease screening. That wasn't too hard, once I found a facility that would take out of town doctor orders - we don't have LabCorp around here and the local hospitals were not cooperative.
I have to complete a uterine review, in this case, a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). There is approximately only a three day window each cycle in which this exam can be performed. I tried a few weeks ago only to find out that my local hospital will not take orders from out of town doctors unless they get privileges at the hospital. Which isn't going to happen. So I missed that time window. Fortunately, I had a consult with my OB and brought him up to speed on the whole EA situation. Now any procedure I need to obtain locally, he/his practice will more or less serve as the middle man and get me squared away. I think. We haven't tried to schedule anything yet.
Our current clinic requires either a copy of our home study or for us to complete psychological counseling (a requirement of all participants in the "donor program"). Fortunately, all I have to do is have our social worker send over a copy of our home study.
As a "delightful" twist to this whole scenario, we found out yesterday that we're moving again. In May. Our landlord is returning to the area and wants the house back by June 1 (our lease ends May 31). In looking at the calendar, I "think" we'll try to sign for our next house May 24 (what a wedding anniversary!) and move over that weekend (which is fortunately a holiday weekend).
And we made our reservations in the nick of time for our 10th anniversary getaway. We got literally some of the last days available out of the whole summer - that place fills up fast! We're going mid-June and it sounds like I'm going to be in desperate need of relaxation.
I guess in some ways it might make sense to try to move the transfer back to accomodate the move. But with our move, anniversary trip, and possible small trip for a cousin's wedding, June is not a good month. And I don't want to keep pushing back the FET just to find the "ideal time". So I think we'll stick with May. And pray really hard.
Our embryo transfer dates are not set in stone. I don't know if they're set in anything right now. I've got a tentative timeline in my head that we're adhering to based on cycle estimations. If the transfer is performed based on my cycles, and if my cycles continue as they have been, then the big FET will be somewhere between May 10 - 14. Or it may not.
These dates can be altered by the drugs I'll be using to prep my body for the transfer.
Apart from the physical coordination/manipulation necessary for an embryo transfer, there's also the logistical coordination. We're adopting embryos from two families who reside in two different states. Each genetic parent has to complete current infectious disease screening on top of relinquishment paperwork and communication contracts. And the embryos have to be shipped from wherever they are currently stored to our clinic. Storks do not bring EA babies - FedEx does!
I have a list of things that we have to accomplish too. Both Bryan and I had to complete our own infectious disease screening. That wasn't too hard, once I found a facility that would take out of town doctor orders - we don't have LabCorp around here and the local hospitals were not cooperative.
I have to complete a uterine review, in this case, a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). There is approximately only a three day window each cycle in which this exam can be performed. I tried a few weeks ago only to find out that my local hospital will not take orders from out of town doctors unless they get privileges at the hospital. Which isn't going to happen. So I missed that time window. Fortunately, I had a consult with my OB and brought him up to speed on the whole EA situation. Now any procedure I need to obtain locally, he/his practice will more or less serve as the middle man and get me squared away. I think. We haven't tried to schedule anything yet.
Our current clinic requires either a copy of our home study or for us to complete psychological counseling (a requirement of all participants in the "donor program"). Fortunately, all I have to do is have our social worker send over a copy of our home study.
As a "delightful" twist to this whole scenario, we found out yesterday that we're moving again. In May. Our landlord is returning to the area and wants the house back by June 1 (our lease ends May 31). In looking at the calendar, I "think" we'll try to sign for our next house May 24 (what a wedding anniversary!) and move over that weekend (which is fortunately a holiday weekend).
And we made our reservations in the nick of time for our 10th anniversary getaway. We got literally some of the last days available out of the whole summer - that place fills up fast! We're going mid-June and it sounds like I'm going to be in desperate need of relaxation.
I guess in some ways it might make sense to try to move the transfer back to accomodate the move. But with our move, anniversary trip, and possible small trip for a cousin's wedding, June is not a good month. And I don't want to keep pushing back the FET just to find the "ideal time". So I think we'll stick with May. And pray really hard.
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