Well, it's been a while since I've written about anything remotely related to adoption. Guess I should get back to the original purpose of this blog. ;-)
You may recall that way back in the spring we were actually matched with two different families. We had originally requested one larger set of embryos but that proved to be too difficult. So instead we were matched with two smaller sets of embryos: Set A, three day 3's from 1998, and Set B, two day 6's from 2003.
Paperwork progressed flawlessly with Set A and that's the set we transferred in May.
There were multiple delays in processing paperwork with Set B and so we finally issued a sort of ultimatum through the adoption agency - please resolve all issues by end of July or we may be forced to reconsider this match. Perhaps this was harsh, but the original paperwork requests went out in March!
In the meanwhile, I did some digging, trying to figure out exactly what our clinic was requiring and why the genetic father was having such a difficult time wrapping up his end of things. First he just wasn't doing anything with his screening request. Finally, by end of June/beginning of July, he took his infectious disease screening (IDS) packet to two different locations and was denied the testing.
Our current clinic here requires all genetic parents to submit current IDS results before the clinic will accept the embryos into their facility. I didn't remember doing this in 2009 with our first transfers, so I got further clarification from the Snowflake Program.
Within the last few years, one of the government agencies (can't remember now which one it was) recommended that all fertility clinics obtain current IDS results from all donating parties for embryos created from 2005 to the present. Genetic parents already submit IDS results prior to the collection of gametes, so this would essentially be a repeat test. Our clinic, for the sake of thoroughness I guess, was trying to collect this data from all genetic parents, regardless of the date of origination. If you'll notice, both of our adopted sets are outside of the recommended window.
Given these difficulties, our agency presented another option: we, the adopting parents, could sign a waiver and bypass the retesting of the genetic father. The adoption agency had already cleared this route with the clinic. It's times like these when I GREATLY appreciate working with an agency rather than trying to navigate all of this on my own. I may have pulled my hair out in frustration without the agency as mediators!
We are now all squared away on paperwork. If finances and life in general allowed it, then we could already be prepping now for a September transfer. We're not.
As much as it pains me to wait, the pressures of Bryan's job and our finances are pushing us to wait a few more months.
I think, tentatively speaking, that we hope to do our next transfer the week before Thanksgiving. The embryos won't be shipped from their storage facility to our clinic until I start meds. And, by my estimate, I won't start meds until the cycle prior so approximately early-mid October.
I hate waiting, I really do. But I know I had to make some mature adult decisions about the timing of this transfer. Sometimes, I don't like being an adult.
In the meanwhile, I'm trying really hard to just live in the moment and embrace life as it is now. The possibility of failure is much more real than it ever was before, so I'm trying hard to just shut that out.
I'm collecting a group of women to run a women's only mud run at the end of September. I'm going on walks most days and exercising more. I'm playing board games and t-ball with the kids while singing loudly to Disney songs on Pandora. I'm scheming up ways to make a preschool co-op happen with families from church.
And at the end of each day I'm writing things I'm thankful for in a little bedside journal. I'm doing my darndest to stay positive, stay optimistic, and have HOPE.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
I'm baaaack!
Sometimes I feel like the little engine that could. But instead of a steep mountain to chug up, I'm on some sort of psychedelic roller coaster.
Last Monday I had to have more bloodwork done as the lab accidently keyed in an incorrect test as part of my infectious disease panel. The kids were troopers through that appointment and were fascinated by the mechanics involved in the blood draw.
Last Thursday I had my hysterosalpingogram (hsg). I was told by the hospital during pre-registration that I had to have someone with me at all times. And, since it was nap time, this meant I had to have someone at the house watching the kids. Luckily for me, Grandma drove up to help out. And then it turned out the hospital didn't care whether or not I was accompanied during my five minute, uncomfortable procedure. Before all these fun times went on, though, I had to go to my OB and "prove" that I wasn't pregnant (urinalysis). Again, the kids had to go with me for this part. "Momma, why are you peeing in a cup? That's so silly!"
While I was in the radiology/imaging waiting room at the hospital, I learned my grandfather had passed on. I'm a crier, so it was challenging to not cry in that waiting room or later during the procedure. I held it together by being somewhat withdrawn. Perhaps the tech and doctor just thought I was nervous.
The kids and I spent the last three days in Oklahoma commemorating the life of my grandfather and visiting with extended family. While the kids did really well with sleeping in hotels at odd hours and being surrounded by "strangers", I'm not so sure I want to do extended car travel again with a certain little girl who wants to potty every 30 - 60 minutes. Oh, and just so you know, pull-ups don't hold much liquid. The bright side of traveling with toddlers is I never once had time to be overwhelmed by emotion. No time for tears when you're chasing kids, looking for public restrooms, gathering toy construction equipment, or redressing a baby doll...
March 30, I began the first phase of my pre-embryo transfer medications. Last transfer, my clinic preferred a few weeks of lupron injections followed by estrogen and progesterone. This clinic prefers birth control to lupron injections.
I have never before in my life been on birth control. Way back before we knew we had fertility issues, we postponed pregnancy through natural family planning (NFP); we've used both the sympto-thermal method and Creighton. It was through the latter, well, Creighton's Napro Technology, that we conducted my infertility testing. Anyway, I don't normally experience too much PMS during each cycle, other than an edginess or shorter fuse during appx days 18 - 24 of my normal cycle. Birth control SUCKS. I feel like I've constantly been at that post-peak, short-fuse stage since about four days after starting the medication. And I've had headaches too, but those could be weather/allergy related...
Our paperwork with both the clinic and our agency is progressing. The clinic sent me a tentative calendar, detailing my medication regime leading up to the transfer. Getting closer and closer to that hoped-for May 10 transfer date! And only six days left of birth control!
We've received permission from our adoption agency to move forward with the 1998 set of embryos and not be held back by delays with the 2003 set. Joyfully, we've learned that our contract is completed (with the 1998 set) AND those embryos are actually already in Austin at the long-term storage facility a lot of Nightlight donor families use.
And now, after that lengthy update, I feel like I'm forgetting something...
Well, as always, I request your prayers, that our last few outstanding documents be sent over quickly and for the little lives we are about to be entrusted with.
Last Monday I had to have more bloodwork done as the lab accidently keyed in an incorrect test as part of my infectious disease panel. The kids were troopers through that appointment and were fascinated by the mechanics involved in the blood draw.
Last Thursday I had my hysterosalpingogram (hsg). I was told by the hospital during pre-registration that I had to have someone with me at all times. And, since it was nap time, this meant I had to have someone at the house watching the kids. Luckily for me, Grandma drove up to help out. And then it turned out the hospital didn't care whether or not I was accompanied during my five minute, uncomfortable procedure. Before all these fun times went on, though, I had to go to my OB and "prove" that I wasn't pregnant (urinalysis). Again, the kids had to go with me for this part. "Momma, why are you peeing in a cup? That's so silly!"
While I was in the radiology/imaging waiting room at the hospital, I learned my grandfather had passed on. I'm a crier, so it was challenging to not cry in that waiting room or later during the procedure. I held it together by being somewhat withdrawn. Perhaps the tech and doctor just thought I was nervous.
The kids and I spent the last three days in Oklahoma commemorating the life of my grandfather and visiting with extended family. While the kids did really well with sleeping in hotels at odd hours and being surrounded by "strangers", I'm not so sure I want to do extended car travel again with a certain little girl who wants to potty every 30 - 60 minutes. Oh, and just so you know, pull-ups don't hold much liquid. The bright side of traveling with toddlers is I never once had time to be overwhelmed by emotion. No time for tears when you're chasing kids, looking for public restrooms, gathering toy construction equipment, or redressing a baby doll...
March 30, I began the first phase of my pre-embryo transfer medications. Last transfer, my clinic preferred a few weeks of lupron injections followed by estrogen and progesterone. This clinic prefers birth control to lupron injections.
I have never before in my life been on birth control. Way back before we knew we had fertility issues, we postponed pregnancy through natural family planning (NFP); we've used both the sympto-thermal method and Creighton. It was through the latter, well, Creighton's Napro Technology, that we conducted my infertility testing. Anyway, I don't normally experience too much PMS during each cycle, other than an edginess or shorter fuse during appx days 18 - 24 of my normal cycle. Birth control SUCKS. I feel like I've constantly been at that post-peak, short-fuse stage since about four days after starting the medication. And I've had headaches too, but those could be weather/allergy related...
Our paperwork with both the clinic and our agency is progressing. The clinic sent me a tentative calendar, detailing my medication regime leading up to the transfer. Getting closer and closer to that hoped-for May 10 transfer date! And only six days left of birth control!
We've received permission from our adoption agency to move forward with the 1998 set of embryos and not be held back by delays with the 2003 set. Joyfully, we've learned that our contract is completed (with the 1998 set) AND those embryos are actually already in Austin at the long-term storage facility a lot of Nightlight donor families use.
And now, after that lengthy update, I feel like I'm forgetting something...
Well, as always, I request your prayers, that our last few outstanding documents be sent over quickly and for the little lives we are about to be entrusted with.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Two and a Half
Well, the two and a half marker has come and gone. I took kid measurements on almost the right day and am posting in the right month. Maybe I get some sort of honorable mention mommy award?
Both kids are just over 39 inches tall and 42 pounds. They wear mostly 5T clothes. The sleeves are a little long in some shirts and the pants often need to be cuffed, but nothing smaller will fit their shoulders/ribs/hips. It truly amazes me how close in size these two continue to be. Oh, and they're potty trained! Well, at least potty trained enough that our diapering budget has been GREATLY reduced. And I'm becoming familiar with the location of every public restroom in every building we frequent.
Two and a half year olds are pretty hilarious, when they're not encouraging your hair to turn white (let's not look too closely at the hair at my temples) or making you foam at the mouth.
These kids love to sing, including theme songs to their favorite tv shows. We often sing a parody of a Cat in the Hat song at lunchtime: "Trees, trees, glorious trees" becomes "cheese, cheese, glorious cheese". Cora gave it her own twist today and came waltzing out of the master closet singing "shoes, shoes, glorious shoes" - two pairs of high heels completed her ensemble.
Mac's memory is incredible. He's started giving me directions to stores when we're out driving. Including stores he's only been to once before. Conversation with him can be somewhat a nightmare, due to his memory and random associations. He spent a good five minutes the other day detailing a whole list of things he wanted to see. I eventually realized he was describing the posters in the story room at the library - we haven't been there in over a month.
He and Cora were pretending to be doctors the other day when Mac announced, "I'm Doctor B____!" I racked my brain, furiously going over the list of all tv doctors I could think trying to decide where this name came from. And then I realized that's the name of his actual pediatrician. Whom he's seen twice since we moved here in June.
We love the Brother Francis videos at our house. Santa put "Let's Pray" and "The Eucharist" in the kids' stockings. Not only do we now hear the Our Father sung day in and day out while the kids play, but they're reenacting scenes from the movies, especially the saint portrayals. "Blessed Imelda wasn't big enough to receive Jesus. I'm not either." Holding up a sandwich a lunch, "This is the Lamb of God, the Eucharist". They'll often use Cora's tea set as a set of chalices, patens, and ciborium and set up the microwave in their kitchen as a tabernacle. It's not unusual to see one or both of them kneeling in front of their kitchen, "I'm praying like Blessed Imelda!"
Books come to life regularly. I love listening to them read books to themselves. Where the Wild Things Are and Going on a Bear Hunt are current favorites. Oh, and Tikki Tikki Tembo (ever read that book? Can you still recite the older brother's name? Passing on a legacy here - first my siblings and I could say his name, now my kids can rattle it off - Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo!)
And then there are the bikes.
Cora and Mac each received a balance bike for Christmas. And they LOVE them. As long as the bikes stay clean, they can even ride them inside. These aren't just any ordinary bikes, though, they double as motorcycles. Routinely, the kids will put on their "Army clothes" and back their "motorcycles" down the driveway. They'll ride madly to some other driveway and then stop and "exercise". Then they come back to "take a shower" and then they get back on their "motorcycles" and ride to their "offices". And then it's time for a lunch break and off they zoom to a "restaurant". Any guesses who they're imitating?
Two and a half is exhausting, exhilarating, and hilarious. Sometimes I feel like I need a coffee iv put in. Other times I feel I need to just sit back and watch the circus perform. And every day I thank God for the joy these two bring to my life.
Both kids are just over 39 inches tall and 42 pounds. They wear mostly 5T clothes. The sleeves are a little long in some shirts and the pants often need to be cuffed, but nothing smaller will fit their shoulders/ribs/hips. It truly amazes me how close in size these two continue to be. Oh, and they're potty trained! Well, at least potty trained enough that our diapering budget has been GREATLY reduced. And I'm becoming familiar with the location of every public restroom in every building we frequent.
Two and a half year olds are pretty hilarious, when they're not encouraging your hair to turn white (let's not look too closely at the hair at my temples) or making you foam at the mouth.
These kids love to sing, including theme songs to their favorite tv shows. We often sing a parody of a Cat in the Hat song at lunchtime: "Trees, trees, glorious trees" becomes "cheese, cheese, glorious cheese". Cora gave it her own twist today and came waltzing out of the master closet singing "shoes, shoes, glorious shoes" - two pairs of high heels completed her ensemble.
Mac's memory is incredible. He's started giving me directions to stores when we're out driving. Including stores he's only been to once before. Conversation with him can be somewhat a nightmare, due to his memory and random associations. He spent a good five minutes the other day detailing a whole list of things he wanted to see. I eventually realized he was describing the posters in the story room at the library - we haven't been there in over a month.
He and Cora were pretending to be doctors the other day when Mac announced, "I'm Doctor B____!" I racked my brain, furiously going over the list of all tv doctors I could think trying to decide where this name came from. And then I realized that's the name of his actual pediatrician. Whom he's seen twice since we moved here in June.
We love the Brother Francis videos at our house. Santa put "Let's Pray" and "The Eucharist" in the kids' stockings. Not only do we now hear the Our Father sung day in and day out while the kids play, but they're reenacting scenes from the movies, especially the saint portrayals. "Blessed Imelda wasn't big enough to receive Jesus. I'm not either." Holding up a sandwich a lunch, "This is the Lamb of God, the Eucharist". They'll often use Cora's tea set as a set of chalices, patens, and ciborium and set up the microwave in their kitchen as a tabernacle. It's not unusual to see one or both of them kneeling in front of their kitchen, "I'm praying like Blessed Imelda!"
Books come to life regularly. I love listening to them read books to themselves. Where the Wild Things Are and Going on a Bear Hunt are current favorites. Oh, and Tikki Tikki Tembo (ever read that book? Can you still recite the older brother's name? Passing on a legacy here - first my siblings and I could say his name, now my kids can rattle it off - Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo!)
And then there are the bikes.
Cora and Mac each received a balance bike for Christmas. And they LOVE them. As long as the bikes stay clean, they can even ride them inside. These aren't just any ordinary bikes, though, they double as motorcycles. Routinely, the kids will put on their "Army clothes" and back their "motorcycles" down the driveway. They'll ride madly to some other driveway and then stop and "exercise". Then they come back to "take a shower" and then they get back on their "motorcycles" and ride to their "offices". And then it's time for a lunch break and off they zoom to a "restaurant". Any guesses who they're imitating?
Two and a half is exhausting, exhilarating, and hilarious. Sometimes I feel like I need a coffee iv put in. Other times I feel I need to just sit back and watch the circus perform. And every day I thank God for the joy these two bring to my life.
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