The Ultrasound

I am overjoyed to announce that we are indeed pregnant with twins.  Yesterday, we saw two babies and two heartbeats.

However, it appears I am not yet free from worry.

Note:  Cora and Mac have decided that Baby A is a girl (Violet) and Baby B is a boy (Dash).

Baby A is the one with the large sac.  She measured beautifully, exactly the dating that I was yesterday - 7w2d.  Her heartbeat was about 135 bpm.

Baby B is having a hard time.  I don't know how much of the measuring difficulty was due to baby position, but the doctor had a challenging time getting a good look at him.  His sac appears very small and he is measuring five days behind, 6w4d.  He had a heartbeat and, though Dr. H. tried repeatedly, we just couldn't zero in on it enough to hear it.  Dr. H did think his heartbeat looked slower than his sister's.

Speaking honestly, we just don't know if Dash will make it.

I have been through a whole range of emotions since yesterday (hence why I didn't post then - still working through things).

I honestly expected multiples given my consistently high (for me) hcg levels and doubling rates.

While I mentally prepared myself in advance to see one or two babies, I did not expect to have the ultrasound and leave with questions.

I don't want to have to say goodbye to yet another baby.  It is not only possible but it is the more likely scenario.

But, but, but...  I am NOT giving up on Dash!  He is there NOW.  I am carrying twins NOW.  And we love them both dearly.

We do not know what will happen.  I go back for a repeat ultrasound in about a week and a half.

I am trying to maintain balance, to not let my fear of what might happen cloud my joy over what we saw yesterday.  Yesterday, there were two hearts beating.  We are, again, the parents of twins.

I have Matthew 6:34 written down and resting on my nightstand:  "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself."  Do not worry.  Do not worry.

Thank you all for your prayers.