We Welcome You With All Our Hearts

Cora and Mac:  Welcome to the Family!

14 interior pages with script

Picture on each page plus front and back (opt) cover

Pg 1.  Once upon a time, Momma and Daddy fell in love and got married.

               

Pg 2.  We loved each other so much, we asked God for children.

               

Pg 3.  God heard our prayers and said “I have something special planned for you.”

      

Pg 4.  Meanwhile, God gave another mother and father lots of blessings – three big babies and some little bitty baby seeds.

            

Pg 5.  This other mother and father said “our hearts are full!  Let’s share our little bitty baby seeds with someone who doesn’t have any.”

      

Pg 6.  Some nice people helped introduce us to the other mother and father.

            

Pg 7.  We agreed to adopt the little bitty baby seeds and love them forever and ever.

         

Pg 8.  A doctor put the little bitty baby seeds in Momma’s tummy to grow bigger and stronger.

                

Pg 9.  Two little baby seeds grew and grew and grew.

         

Pg 10.  And Momma’s belly grew and grew and grew.

     

Pg 11.  Finally the doctor said it’s time to meet your babies.  We were so excited!

           

Pg 12.  You were born on July 18, Cora first and then Mac.

                

Pg 13.  We rejoiced!  God had answered our prayers and had given us two beautiful healthy babies.

               

Pg 14.  And one month after you entered our family, you were baptized and joined Jesus’s family.

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Who would have thought that writing a book for one year olds would be difficult?!  And yet, choosing pictures is becoming infinitely more trying!

Absence

My original goal in starting this blog was to publish about one post a week.  However, with my husband deployed (three months down, probably nine to go), sometimes life gets busy.  And then we had family visiting for the last week.  After being on my own with the twins, it was fantastic to spend time with family - so I didn't spend much time on the computer.

The twins' first birthday is approaching and I need to get one of their presents sent to the publisher.  Pint Size Productions lets you custom design a board book.  My goal is to present all of my children (present and future) with a "story of me" for their first birthday.  I'm not sure how long the turn around time is for the board book, so that is my next writing priority.  And then back to the blog!

I'm hoping to post a version of the "story of me" on here so you can get a feel for how we're introducing the concept of embryo adoption and adoption to our children. 

What is Embryo Adoption Anyway?

In the United States, it is extremely common for a couple to have multiple embryos created with each IVF attempt.  A few other countries (Germany and Italy, I believe, though I’d have to check my facts) have laws that limit the number of embryos created to the number that one would then transfer in the same cycle, effectively eliminating any excess.  America has no such laws. 

United States fertility clinics typically counsel their IVF couples to choose one of the following plans for any excess embryos:  leave them frozen, donate them to science, or destroy them.  Some IVF couples are turning to a fourth option – donating their remaining embryos to other couples. 

There are a variety of ways a couple may choose to donate their embryos.  On one end of the spectrum, there are couples who may donate their embryos to their fertility clinic.  If these embryos are then selected by another couple, it would be done completely anonymously.  On the other end of the spectrum, there are those placing couples who work with an embryo adoption service to handpick the adoptive parents – the genetic parents may even formulate an open adoption relationship with the adoptive parents.

The first scenario described falls into the category of “embryo donation”.  The genetic parents have relegated all parental responsibility to the fertility clinic.  By law, embryos are considered property, not persons.  With donation, the interested couple (or individual) goes to the local fertility clinic and picks a suitable match based on a list of physical characteristics.  Depending on state law, surrogates may be allowed. In comparison to adoption, donation is cheaper, faster, and incredibly impersonal.  The end goal of embryo donation is pregnancy.  Here the embryo is considered in its legal sense, as property, rather than in its true sense, a human being.

As proof of this ideology, consider the following quote from an American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) Ethics Committee Report in 2009:

 “Requiring infertile patients who need donor gametes or patients who need donor embryos to suffer the imposition of unnecessary administrative and legal trappings of adoption and the costs that accompany them is not ethically justifiable. The donation of embryos for reproductive purposes is fundamentally a medical procedure intended to result in pregnancy and should be treated as such.” ASRM Ethics Committee Report. American Society for Reproductive Medicine: Defining Embryo Donation. Fertility Sterility, 2009;92(6):1818-9.

This mindset proves just how important it is to distinguish between embryo donation and embryo adoption.

The second scenario falls into the category of “embryo adoption”.  The adopting couple must complete a home study with an accredited adoption agency before any adoption proceedings may take place.  Adoptive parents are counseled on ways to tell their children of their unique origin.  Matches are mutually conducted between genetic parents and adoptive parents.  Many embryo adoption services do not allow surrogates.  The only involvement a fertility clinic plays is the transfer itself.  Though not legally accepted as a form of adoption (except in the state of Georgia), embryo adoption is patterned as closely as possible off of pre-existing infant adoption standards/guidelines.  The end goal in embryo adoption is saving the life of the embryo(s) and achieving parenthood.

And in between the two scenarios are a whole host of organizations.  Some do not require home studies, some do.  Many solely exist to facilitate matches between donating couples and adopting couples.  Future posts will offer a more detailed look at many of the embryo adoption or embryo donation services in existence.

Side Note:  The term “snowflake” was coined by Nightlight Christian Adoptions to reflect how these frozen embryos are wholly unique, just like a snowflake.  Started in 1997, their Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program is the oldest EA program in the United States.

Topics for the Future

(please note:  these are arranged randomly, not in order of importance or interest, but merely in the order that my brain was working at the moment of typing)

1.     Annotated bibliography of sources/suggested reading list

2.    What is a snowflake?

3.    Common embryo transfer and embryo adoption terminology

4.    Common misconceptions

5.    Defense of embryo adoption before the release of Dignitas Personae

6.    Defense of embryo adoption after the release of Dignitas Personae

7.    Embryo adoption versus embryo donation

8.    Analysis of different embryo adoption agencies

9.    Matching criteria

10. Contracts with fertility clinics

11. Medical protocol for the embryo transfer

12. Preserving dignity of each embryo through the embryo transfer

13. Why the Church’s position is just

14. Open versus closed adoption

15. Telling your children of their unique origin (given the young age of our kids, this will be more sharing resources than personal experience)

Is there anything you’d like me to address that isn’t mentioned above?  Are there any points mentioned above that are of special interest to you?

Catholic Church and Embryo Adoption

The Catholic Church is fully committed to protecting life from fertilization until natural death.  Unfortunately, technology has not always advanced in ways that fully respect the dignity of each life.  Though the Church moves slowly at times (for example, though the first IVF baby was born in 1978, the Church did not officially address IVF until 1987 in Donum Vitae), she has tried to advise her followers in a manner that is clear and compassionate.

Embryo adoption is currently stuck in a quagmire.  Donum Vitae, released in 1987, condemned the act of IVF (though reminding all that children born of IVF were no less worthy of love than children conceived naturally).  Dignitas Personae, released in 2008, condemned freezing excess embryos.  DP also briefly treated the topic of embryo adoption.  Enter the moral quagmire – embryo adoption would not exist without IVF, something previously defined as illicit.  Currently, the Church finds embryo adoption morally problematic but has refrained from a definitive stance.

 There are three possible conclusions one can reasonably reach in response to the Church’s cursory treatment of embryo adoption.  Option one, personally decide that EA is an immoral choice.  Option two, personally decide that EA is a moral choice.  Option three, personally refrain from any decision until the Church speaks more definitively on the topic.

Most faithful Catholics are choosing either options one or three.  However, simply because option two is the minority opinion makes it no less a viable option.  Probabilism is a moral system that believes one can follow a probable course of action regarding undefined moral events even if such action is only supported by a minority of respected theologians.¹  As it stands within the Church today, embryo adoption does have well-respected  theologians as some of its chief proponents. ²

I would propose that Catholics can in good conscience participate in embryo adoption.  However, I do not think that any and all forms of embryo adoption/donation/rescue are compatible with the Church’s respect for human life.  I will go into much more detail in future blog entries, but in short, each and every embryonic life must be treated with dignity and respect. 

1.         Catholic Encyclopedia on the Theory of Probabilism http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/12441a.htm

2.        Dr. William May, Dr. Janet Smith, Dr. Gerard Nadal, and Ronald Conte to name a few.  Prominent theologians both for and against embryo adoption will be analyzed in upcoming entries

About Me

My husband and I first met at a visit weekend for high school seniors at the University of Dallas in 1999.  Our love for UD’s theological and liberal arts curriculum is what brought us back to the school as undergrads.  Bryan eventually went on to major in theology while I took as many theology classes as I could fit into my schedule.  One of the lasting impressions we carried with us was the value of a properly formed conscience.  In the years we have been married and navigated fertility testing and assisted reproductive technologies, we have tried our absolute best to properly form our consciences and adhere to the Church’s teachings. 

Through the course of our fertility testing, Bryan and I worked closely with Napro-trained physicians only to be ultimately told that our best bet for growing our family was adoption.  Mind you, we have never viewed adoption as “second rate” – we were talking about adopting even before we were married (and didn’t have any clue of the fertility struggles yet to come).

We first learned of embryo adoption from UD friends of ours in 2006 or 2007.  I’m a rather “type A” personality – that conversation sparked what has become years of research.  To humorously illustrate how “type A” I am, I created a power point comparing and contrasting different dog breeds when we were considering what breed to get for our first dog.  My brilliant research skills paid off – we got a Great Dane.  J 

A couple things prompted us in the direction of embryo adoption.  First, we’re a military family – moves are a given part of our way of life.  Waiting is a huge part of the traditional domestic adoption process; moves would undoubtedly slow down an already slow procedure.  Embryo adoption is a fairly quick process.  Second, while we cannot conceive our own genetic children, my uterus works beautifully. 

In May of 2009, after years of research, a deployment, an adoption home study, and a quick matching process, we completed our first embryo transfer.  Sadly, we miscarried in July of 2009.

A few months later, we decided we were ready to be matched again.  In early November 2009, we completed our second embryo transfer.  And our darling duo were born July 18, 2010.

The story doesn’t end there.  We hope to do another embryo adoption some time in 2012.  Our dreams of having a large family have never changed – God just has a different route in store for us.