Bryan and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary in May. And apart a few months at the very beginning of our marriage (when we used NFP to postpone a pregnancy), we've been open to life the entire time. We have never ever had a surprise pregnancy or even an occasion for me to buy a pregnancy test (I'm talking other than after embryo transfers). Things are just like clockwork for me.
And yet I still occasionally dream of one day getting a positive test.
Hope does not ebb and flow like it used too. I don't dissolve into a heap of tears with every cycle day one like I used to years ago. I'm not expecting us to get pregnant. A natural conception would truly be an act of God.
Regardless of how impossible that may seem to the human brain, my heart still has a place for hope. To be honest, my recent daydreaming kind of caught me off guard. I didn't expect to still yearn for what should be viewed as an impossible feat. It put me in a odd place, experiencing hope yet not feeling any bitterness or disappointment when cycle day one rolled around once again. It was, in a sense, a child-like hope.
I was sharing our "how we met" story with a woman at church. She had a good laugh at the origins of our relationship and pointed out how clearly God has had a plan set aside for us. Yes, so what if Bryan had planned on being a priest from when he was five until he was eighteen. God clearly had other plans for him and made those plans abundantly clear. Army life in all its trials and tribulations seems like a breeze compared to the unemployment and despair experienced early in our marriage. God set a path before us and made it abundantly clear. Isn't it funny how hindsight works?
My college class's tenth reunion is coming up and it's made me think. Is this where I expected myself to be? No, not really. I think the only thing that would not surprise twenty-one year old me is the identity of my spouse. And since we got married six days after graduation, that's kind of a gimme. Despite the differences between my dreams and my reality, I can clearly see the hand of God on me, on us. The heights of joy are only made more powerful by the preceding plummets of turmoil and stress and pain. Ultimately I wouldn't change anything.
"When we dictate interiorly the conditions of our happiness, our very dreams become an enemy. We assume that we have a right to have things go the way we planned and when they don't, we feel that life is cheating us: "I was looking forward to this so much, and now I feel let down."
"In such instances, I try to recall the title of C. S. Lewis' book, Surprised by Joy, and I try to let myself be surprised by joy. I think you'll find that the deepest and most beautiful moments in life won't necessarily be those you've planned, but those which are unexpectedly showered upon you like mysterious gifts." Alice von Hildebrand, By Love Refined
Friday, August 16, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Status Update
Well, it's been a while since I've written about anything remotely related to adoption. Guess I should get back to the original purpose of this blog. ;-)
You may recall that way back in the spring we were actually matched with two different families. We had originally requested one larger set of embryos but that proved to be too difficult. So instead we were matched with two smaller sets of embryos: Set A, three day 3's from 1998, and Set B, two day 6's from 2003.
Paperwork progressed flawlessly with Set A and that's the set we transferred in May.
There were multiple delays in processing paperwork with Set B and so we finally issued a sort of ultimatum through the adoption agency - please resolve all issues by end of July or we may be forced to reconsider this match. Perhaps this was harsh, but the original paperwork requests went out in March!
In the meanwhile, I did some digging, trying to figure out exactly what our clinic was requiring and why the genetic father was having such a difficult time wrapping up his end of things. First he just wasn't doing anything with his screening request. Finally, by end of June/beginning of July, he took his infectious disease screening (IDS) packet to two different locations and was denied the testing.
Our current clinic here requires all genetic parents to submit current IDS results before the clinic will accept the embryos into their facility. I didn't remember doing this in 2009 with our first transfers, so I got further clarification from the Snowflake Program.
Within the last few years, one of the government agencies (can't remember now which one it was) recommended that all fertility clinics obtain current IDS results from all donating parties for embryos created from 2005 to the present. Genetic parents already submit IDS results prior to the collection of gametes, so this would essentially be a repeat test. Our clinic, for the sake of thoroughness I guess, was trying to collect this data from all genetic parents, regardless of the date of origination. If you'll notice, both of our adopted sets are outside of the recommended window.
Given these difficulties, our agency presented another option: we, the adopting parents, could sign a waiver and bypass the retesting of the genetic father. The adoption agency had already cleared this route with the clinic. It's times like these when I GREATLY appreciate working with an agency rather than trying to navigate all of this on my own. I may have pulled my hair out in frustration without the agency as mediators!
We are now all squared away on paperwork. If finances and life in general allowed it, then we could already be prepping now for a September transfer. We're not.
As much as it pains me to wait, the pressures of Bryan's job and our finances are pushing us to wait a few more months.
I think, tentatively speaking, that we hope to do our next transfer the week before Thanksgiving. The embryos won't be shipped from their storage facility to our clinic until I start meds. And, by my estimate, I won't start meds until the cycle prior so approximately early-mid October.
I hate waiting, I really do. But I know I had to make some mature adult decisions about the timing of this transfer. Sometimes, I don't like being an adult.
In the meanwhile, I'm trying really hard to just live in the moment and embrace life as it is now. The possibility of failure is much more real than it ever was before, so I'm trying hard to just shut that out.
I'm collecting a group of women to run a women's only mud run at the end of September. I'm going on walks most days and exercising more. I'm playing board games and t-ball with the kids while singing loudly to Disney songs on Pandora. I'm scheming up ways to make a preschool co-op happen with families from church.
And at the end of each day I'm writing things I'm thankful for in a little bedside journal. I'm doing my darndest to stay positive, stay optimistic, and have HOPE.
You may recall that way back in the spring we were actually matched with two different families. We had originally requested one larger set of embryos but that proved to be too difficult. So instead we were matched with two smaller sets of embryos: Set A, three day 3's from 1998, and Set B, two day 6's from 2003.
Paperwork progressed flawlessly with Set A and that's the set we transferred in May.
There were multiple delays in processing paperwork with Set B and so we finally issued a sort of ultimatum through the adoption agency - please resolve all issues by end of July or we may be forced to reconsider this match. Perhaps this was harsh, but the original paperwork requests went out in March!
In the meanwhile, I did some digging, trying to figure out exactly what our clinic was requiring and why the genetic father was having such a difficult time wrapping up his end of things. First he just wasn't doing anything with his screening request. Finally, by end of June/beginning of July, he took his infectious disease screening (IDS) packet to two different locations and was denied the testing.
Our current clinic here requires all genetic parents to submit current IDS results before the clinic will accept the embryos into their facility. I didn't remember doing this in 2009 with our first transfers, so I got further clarification from the Snowflake Program.
Within the last few years, one of the government agencies (can't remember now which one it was) recommended that all fertility clinics obtain current IDS results from all donating parties for embryos created from 2005 to the present. Genetic parents already submit IDS results prior to the collection of gametes, so this would essentially be a repeat test. Our clinic, for the sake of thoroughness I guess, was trying to collect this data from all genetic parents, regardless of the date of origination. If you'll notice, both of our adopted sets are outside of the recommended window.
Given these difficulties, our agency presented another option: we, the adopting parents, could sign a waiver and bypass the retesting of the genetic father. The adoption agency had already cleared this route with the clinic. It's times like these when I GREATLY appreciate working with an agency rather than trying to navigate all of this on my own. I may have pulled my hair out in frustration without the agency as mediators!
We are now all squared away on paperwork. If finances and life in general allowed it, then we could already be prepping now for a September transfer. We're not.
As much as it pains me to wait, the pressures of Bryan's job and our finances are pushing us to wait a few more months.
I think, tentatively speaking, that we hope to do our next transfer the week before Thanksgiving. The embryos won't be shipped from their storage facility to our clinic until I start meds. And, by my estimate, I won't start meds until the cycle prior so approximately early-mid October.
I hate waiting, I really do. But I know I had to make some mature adult decisions about the timing of this transfer. Sometimes, I don't like being an adult.
In the meanwhile, I'm trying really hard to just live in the moment and embrace life as it is now. The possibility of failure is much more real than it ever was before, so I'm trying hard to just shut that out.
I'm collecting a group of women to run a women's only mud run at the end of September. I'm going on walks most days and exercising more. I'm playing board games and t-ball with the kids while singing loudly to Disney songs on Pandora. I'm scheming up ways to make a preschool co-op happen with families from church.
And at the end of each day I'm writing things I'm thankful for in a little bedside journal. I'm doing my darndest to stay positive, stay optimistic, and have HOPE.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Interviewing kids
I've been trying to formulate a reflective post on the fact that the kids are now three. And it just hasn't been happening. I decided to involve the kids in the process and interview them instead. After asking a question, if I didn't immediately get a response, I'd turn it into a multiple choice question to get some thoughts flowing.
When was your birthday?
Mac - last month in July; Cora - July 18
How old are you?
Both - FWEE!! Fingers held high.
What are your favorite movies?
Both - Mulan, Tigger Movie, the Heffalump movie, Nemo. (Then they went on and listed every movie they could remember in our entertainment center, most of which they hadn't seen: Bugs, Cars, Incredibles...)
What's your favorite color?
Mac - blue, like firemen wear; Cora - blue
What's your favorite thing to eat?
Mac - noodles; Cora - yogurt (decision possibly influenced by the fact we were eating yogurt at the time)
What's your favorite fruit?
Both - all fruits!
What's your favorite veggie?
Mac - NO! Cora - salad, green beans (she likes them raw), french fries :-)
Mac, describe what Cora looks like.
She has green eyes, brown hair it's straight and curly and long. She's tall. She's kinda loud at nighttime (she's been snoring terribly lately)
Cora, describe what Mac looks like.
He has blue eyes and light brown hair. It's short and curly. He's tall. He has loud feet and a loud mouth.
Note - both kids are about 41 inches tall and 46 pounds. They tower over their other three year old friends and are much closer in size to their five year old friends. They wear size 13 shoes and clothes that are usually at least a size 6.
What are some of your favorite things to do at home?
Mac - make pillow caves, play Busy Town especially when the pigs eat, play on the ipad, puzzles, legos, watch movies and eat popcorn
Cora - color pictures, watch movies and eat popcorn, play with my babies, play with Hank (the dog), puzzles, ipad, play Busy Town, bounce my basketballs
What does Daddy do?
Mac - clean dishes and go to work and play Busy Town and sleep. He's a soldier.
What does Momma do?
Cora - clean dishes, give Mac and Cora a bath, clean fans (what we had just done that morning), put me to bed
How old is Momma?
Both - one
How old is Daddy?
Both - one
How old is Hank?
Mac - no numbers; Cora - two (I'm intrigued that the dog is older than both Bryan and I)
What is Daddy's name?
Both - Bryan
What is Momma's name?
Mac - Andra (written phonetically)
What do you want to be when you grow up? How many kids will you have?
Mac - a fireman; firemen don't have kids
Cora - a doctor with five kids
I think next time I interview the kids, I may try to separate them. I asked questions over breakfast today and Mac burst out with all his answers, even when I tried to address them specifically to Cora.
They both know our address, but I'm not writing that for the obvious privacy reasons. Actually they're quite in tune with street names and can give directions to our normal destinations (groceries, library, pet store...)
The memory of a three year old is pretty incredible. Both Cora and Mac know their basic prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, O My Jesus, and grace, plus the various Mass responses/prayers). Cora can sing her version of the Salve Regina.
They have picked up random tidbits from tv, like the colors of the rainbow and that milk comes from cow udders.
We read a lot of books but they don't have any lasting favorites. Or perhaps I should say all books are their favorites?
Overall, they have very inquisitive minds and I try, as best I can, to answer their queries. Lately they've been very interested in spelling words. I've started keeping notecards near the kitchen table. This way I can draw a simple picture and label it so we can "practice reading and spelling" while the meal wraps up.
Bonus - best picture ever. If you'll notice, Mac's birthday present is packaged in a diaper box. Oh, if you could have heard his indignation upon unwrapping a big box only to find what he thought was a box of diapers! It wasn't. It was trains.
When was your birthday?
Mac - last month in July; Cora - July 18
How old are you?
Both - FWEE!! Fingers held high.
What are your favorite movies?
Both - Mulan, Tigger Movie, the Heffalump movie, Nemo. (Then they went on and listed every movie they could remember in our entertainment center, most of which they hadn't seen: Bugs, Cars, Incredibles...)
What's your favorite color?
Mac - blue, like firemen wear; Cora - blue
What's your favorite thing to eat?
Mac - noodles; Cora - yogurt (decision possibly influenced by the fact we were eating yogurt at the time)
What's your favorite fruit?
Both - all fruits!
What's your favorite veggie?
Mac - NO! Cora - salad, green beans (she likes them raw), french fries :-)
Mac, describe what Cora looks like.
She has green eyes, brown hair it's straight and curly and long. She's tall. She's kinda loud at nighttime (she's been snoring terribly lately)
Cora, describe what Mac looks like.
He has blue eyes and light brown hair. It's short and curly. He's tall. He has loud feet and a loud mouth.
Note - both kids are about 41 inches tall and 46 pounds. They tower over their other three year old friends and are much closer in size to their five year old friends. They wear size 13 shoes and clothes that are usually at least a size 6.
What are some of your favorite things to do at home?
Mac - make pillow caves, play Busy Town especially when the pigs eat, play on the ipad, puzzles, legos, watch movies and eat popcorn
Cora - color pictures, watch movies and eat popcorn, play with my babies, play with Hank (the dog), puzzles, ipad, play Busy Town, bounce my basketballs
What does Daddy do?
Mac - clean dishes and go to work and play Busy Town and sleep. He's a soldier.
What does Momma do?
Cora - clean dishes, give Mac and Cora a bath, clean fans (what we had just done that morning), put me to bed
How old is Momma?
Both - one
How old is Daddy?
Both - one
How old is Hank?
Mac - no numbers; Cora - two (I'm intrigued that the dog is older than both Bryan and I)
What is Daddy's name?
Both - Bryan
What is Momma's name?
Mac - Andra (written phonetically)
What do you want to be when you grow up? How many kids will you have?
Mac - a fireman; firemen don't have kids
Cora - a doctor with five kids
I think next time I interview the kids, I may try to separate them. I asked questions over breakfast today and Mac burst out with all his answers, even when I tried to address them specifically to Cora.
They both know our address, but I'm not writing that for the obvious privacy reasons. Actually they're quite in tune with street names and can give directions to our normal destinations (groceries, library, pet store...)
The memory of a three year old is pretty incredible. Both Cora and Mac know their basic prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, O My Jesus, and grace, plus the various Mass responses/prayers). Cora can sing her version of the Salve Regina.
They have picked up random tidbits from tv, like the colors of the rainbow and that milk comes from cow udders.
We read a lot of books but they don't have any lasting favorites. Or perhaps I should say all books are their favorites?
Overall, they have very inquisitive minds and I try, as best I can, to answer their queries. Lately they've been very interested in spelling words. I've started keeping notecards near the kitchen table. This way I can draw a simple picture and label it so we can "practice reading and spelling" while the meal wraps up.
Bonus - best picture ever. If you'll notice, Mac's birthday present is packaged in a diaper box. Oh, if you could have heard his indignation upon unwrapping a big box only to find what he thought was a box of diapers! It wasn't. It was trains.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Sleep
I posted some dire pleas for help on the ole faceb.ook the other day, bemoaning the child sleep situation. I've read books, scoured the internet, examined our own lifestyles and habits, and have come up with something that is working for us. Well, working better at least.
In short, the problem was that since the beginning of summer (and our move to this new house), the kids were taking FOREVER to go to sleep each night. And then naps were horrendous crying messes because they were overtired. And then a certain little girl regressed horribly in the bladder control department because she was so tired all the time. And the hissyfits. OH, the hissyfits.
Highlights from my research: the average three year old needs between 12 - 13 hours of total sleep per day. Some kids nap, many don't at this age. Just keep in mind the overall total needed sleep per day.
Another highlight, perhaps obvious in its simplicity - consistency is key. Whatever your method, whatever the routine, whatever the wake-up/go-down times, keep them consistent.
After many trials and tribulations, the kids are now going to sleep by 9:00 each night and around 7:00 in the morning. Naps are around two hours in length.
I had mistakenly thought before that since the kids were still up and running around at 8:30 each night that they weren't tired enough to go to sleep. We'd do our routine and the kids weren't going to sleep until 9:30 or 9:45 each night (which left both the kids and us parents EXHAUSTED).
To combat this, we've actually lengthened our nighttime routine and moved the start time up earlier. It's a long routine, but it allows us to shift gradually from playtime to sleep mode.
We've also instituted a "ticket" system. Each child has three "tickets" to come out of their room. If they have tickets left when it's time to get up, then they earn five minutes on the ipad (ipad is really the only consistent motivator for Cora). If either one gets up four times (one time after the tickets are gone), then we put the child-proof door knob on the door. (I take it off when I go to bed.) Mac can take the door knob off, but for whatever reason he won't do it when he's tired. And it's totally dark.
At 7:30 ish, Bryan's phone quacks. This is the "clean-up" alarm. The kids are "paid" for their clean-up efforts with skittles (0-3 depending on the quality of job and extent of mess). Then it's ipad time - set another timer, each kid gets five minutes. Then it's time to go potty, brush teeth, and put on pjs.
We settle into their room and read books. Say prayers, climb into bed, and turn out the lights. But wait, there's more!
The following are the new additions which further the theme of quiet and calm before bed. Oh, side note, Cora and Mac share a room and will indefinitely.
With the lights off but the bedroom door open, we parents split up and say goodnight/give blessings to each child individually. Okay, the only new part here is the lights are off for this phase.
Next we each lay (lie? I have never learned a trick to use lay/lie correctly) down with a child. We switch out nightly whom we lay/lie/whatever with. We snuggle for a few minutes and just whisper quietly with the child about their day or if "they have any questions" (we always get "what are we doing tomorrow?"). Then we sing the Salve Regina while rubbing a back or tummy, or holding a hand.
One last kiss for each child and then one parent (and the dog) leave.
We really had struggled with what happened after we left the room - it had become playtime part 4000. We tried staying in there but if a parent is there, then you are the focus of attention, the target. And we found ourselves losing our tempers long before the kids lost interest.
Now, after reiterating the rules off and on throughout the day, the kids know to stay in their own beds while the remaining parent says the rosary. We just say it softly, not expecting the kids to participate like they do with regular prayers. After the rosary is over, the remaining parent tiptoes out. Usually it's about 8:45 or a little after by this time.
About 75% of the time, Cora is asleep before the end of the rosary. Mac frequently gets up four times right in a row after the rosary concludes and "earns" himself the door knob, but then goes to sleep without a peep. It's like he has this compulsion to use all the cards each night. Ever since we tacked on the rosary, both kids have been asleep by 9:00. please don't let me jinx myself!
After much thought, I tackled naps too. The kids are put in separate rooms for naps, which helps immensely. Other than that one day when they realized if they yelled loudly enough, they could hear each other...
I moved nap time up slightly earlier so I could wake them earlier. They nap on the average for about two hours, usually from around 1:30 - 3:30. plan was foiled today by an over eager boy who decided to wake his sister whom he missed so very dearly
Overall, it's a huge improvement. Hissyfits have been reduced, though I haven't discovered a magic cure for those. Bladder control for little girls is dramatically better. In all, the kids are just more pleasant to be around now. :-) And I'm more pleasant too.
In short, the problem was that since the beginning of summer (and our move to this new house), the kids were taking FOREVER to go to sleep each night. And then naps were horrendous crying messes because they were overtired. And then a certain little girl regressed horribly in the bladder control department because she was so tired all the time. And the hissyfits. OH, the hissyfits.
Highlights from my research: the average three year old needs between 12 - 13 hours of total sleep per day. Some kids nap, many don't at this age. Just keep in mind the overall total needed sleep per day.
Another highlight, perhaps obvious in its simplicity - consistency is key. Whatever your method, whatever the routine, whatever the wake-up/go-down times, keep them consistent.
After many trials and tribulations, the kids are now going to sleep by 9:00 each night and around 7:00 in the morning. Naps are around two hours in length.
I had mistakenly thought before that since the kids were still up and running around at 8:30 each night that they weren't tired enough to go to sleep. We'd do our routine and the kids weren't going to sleep until 9:30 or 9:45 each night (which left both the kids and us parents EXHAUSTED).
To combat this, we've actually lengthened our nighttime routine and moved the start time up earlier. It's a long routine, but it allows us to shift gradually from playtime to sleep mode.
We've also instituted a "ticket" system. Each child has three "tickets" to come out of their room. If they have tickets left when it's time to get up, then they earn five minutes on the ipad (ipad is really the only consistent motivator for Cora). If either one gets up four times (one time after the tickets are gone), then we put the child-proof door knob on the door. (I take it off when I go to bed.) Mac can take the door knob off, but for whatever reason he won't do it when he's tired. And it's totally dark.
At 7:30 ish, Bryan's phone quacks. This is the "clean-up" alarm. The kids are "paid" for their clean-up efforts with skittles (0-3 depending on the quality of job and extent of mess). Then it's ipad time - set another timer, each kid gets five minutes. Then it's time to go potty, brush teeth, and put on pjs.
We settle into their room and read books. Say prayers, climb into bed, and turn out the lights. But wait, there's more!
The following are the new additions which further the theme of quiet and calm before bed. Oh, side note, Cora and Mac share a room and will indefinitely.
With the lights off but the bedroom door open, we parents split up and say goodnight/give blessings to each child individually. Okay, the only new part here is the lights are off for this phase.
Next we each lay (lie? I have never learned a trick to use lay/lie correctly) down with a child. We switch out nightly whom we lay/lie/whatever with. We snuggle for a few minutes and just whisper quietly with the child about their day or if "they have any questions" (we always get "what are we doing tomorrow?"). Then we sing the Salve Regina while rubbing a back or tummy, or holding a hand.
One last kiss for each child and then one parent (and the dog) leave.
We really had struggled with what happened after we left the room - it had become playtime part 4000. We tried staying in there but if a parent is there, then you are the focus of attention, the target. And we found ourselves losing our tempers long before the kids lost interest.
Now, after reiterating the rules off and on throughout the day, the kids know to stay in their own beds while the remaining parent says the rosary. We just say it softly, not expecting the kids to participate like they do with regular prayers. After the rosary is over, the remaining parent tiptoes out. Usually it's about 8:45 or a little after by this time.
About 75% of the time, Cora is asleep before the end of the rosary. Mac frequently gets up four times right in a row after the rosary concludes and "earns" himself the door knob, but then goes to sleep without a peep. It's like he has this compulsion to use all the cards each night. Ever since we tacked on the rosary, both kids have been asleep by 9:00. please don't let me jinx myself!
After much thought, I tackled naps too. The kids are put in separate rooms for naps, which helps immensely. Other than that one day when they realized if they yelled loudly enough, they could hear each other...
I moved nap time up slightly earlier so I could wake them earlier. They nap on the average for about two hours, usually from around 1:30 - 3:30. plan was foiled today by an over eager boy who decided to wake his sister whom he missed so very dearly
Overall, it's a huge improvement. Hissyfits have been reduced, though I haven't discovered a magic cure for those. Bladder control for little girls is dramatically better. In all, the kids are just more pleasant to be around now. :-) And I'm more pleasant too.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Three
Would you believe it? The twins went and turned three on me. How could that happen?!
I'll post on their developments soon, but for now I'll just reminisce on their party.
Being a military family, I know my kids won't be able to celebrate with friends every year. We'll move, friends will move, it just won't always be able to happen. With that knowledge, I wanted to do this party up a little bit.
After much discussion, the kids and I decided on a pirate theme, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, to be exact. Last year we didn't have a party (had only lived in Texas for six weeks by their 2nd birthday) and so "splurged" on Step2 items for the backyard. This year the gifts were way scaled down (hello, IKEA!) and we "splurged" on the party.
We ended up having decent weather, an amazing feat for a July day in central Texas. Grandma, PopPop, and Uncle Chris drove up early and were able to help with set up, like the essential awnings and loads of camp chairs in the backyard.
As soon as the guests came in the front door, the kids got to chose a bandanna for their pirate wear. Next we had the inside activities of coloring pages and Pin the Tale on the Croc. Can you believe that out of the 17 kids age 6 and down, none of them had played pin the tale on the anything before?
After attempting to give the Croc his tail, we unleashed the rapscallion horde into the backyard.
I organized several stations and the young pirates flitted around to their hearts' desire.
They "walked the plank" - balance beam.
They "escaped the tentacles" - ran through a wiggly arm sprinkler.
They loved the "ship wash" - PopPop transformed our backyard slide into a ship and the kids swabbed the deck (soapy water in buckets and kitchen sponges)
They had "getaway practice" - slip n slide.
And, another favorite, the kids got to "dig for buried treasure" - makeshift sandbox (under-the-bed rubbermaid filled with sand and stuffed with doubloons, plastic jewelry, etc).
The outdoor fun wound down with some pizza and fruit salad, just what every young pirate needs to keep up his/her strength.
Finally we all headed inside for clean clothes and then for cake and ice cream.
The dog was very helpful in vetting all guests. And then cleaning up any spills or crumbs.
Eventually guests drifted away until it was just family left. And we spent the rest of the weekend recuperating and enjoying the blessings that come with good friendships.
I'll post on their developments soon, but for now I'll just reminisce on their party.
Being a military family, I know my kids won't be able to celebrate with friends every year. We'll move, friends will move, it just won't always be able to happen. With that knowledge, I wanted to do this party up a little bit.
After much discussion, the kids and I decided on a pirate theme, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, to be exact. Last year we didn't have a party (had only lived in Texas for six weeks by their 2nd birthday) and so "splurged" on Step2 items for the backyard. This year the gifts were way scaled down (hello, IKEA!) and we "splurged" on the party.
We ended up having decent weather, an amazing feat for a July day in central Texas. Grandma, PopPop, and Uncle Chris drove up early and were able to help with set up, like the essential awnings and loads of camp chairs in the backyard.
As soon as the guests came in the front door, the kids got to chose a bandanna for their pirate wear. Next we had the inside activities of coloring pages and Pin the Tale on the Croc. Can you believe that out of the 17 kids age 6 and down, none of them had played pin the tale on the anything before?
After attempting to give the Croc his tail, we unleashed the rapscallion horde into the backyard.
I organized several stations and the young pirates flitted around to their hearts' desire.
They "walked the plank" - balance beam.
They "escaped the tentacles" - ran through a wiggly arm sprinkler.
They loved the "ship wash" - PopPop transformed our backyard slide into a ship and the kids swabbed the deck (soapy water in buckets and kitchen sponges)
They had "getaway practice" - slip n slide.
And, another favorite, the kids got to "dig for buried treasure" - makeshift sandbox (under-the-bed rubbermaid filled with sand and stuffed with doubloons, plastic jewelry, etc).
The outdoor fun wound down with some pizza and fruit salad, just what every young pirate needs to keep up his/her strength.
Finally we all headed inside for clean clothes and then for cake and ice cream.
The dog was very helpful in vetting all guests. And then cleaning up any spills or crumbs.
Eventually guests drifted away until it was just family left. And we spent the rest of the weekend recuperating and enjoying the blessings that come with good friendships.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Evolution of an Imagination
From a parenting standpoint, it appears that speech and imagination are directly related.
In the not-so beginning, there were only a few words, parroting back what was heard.
Then, we progressed on to more and more words, phrases and sentences even, strung together by growing minds.
Creative play began to grow, initially repeating things seen on tv or read in books. We were (and still are) constantly amazed by the amount of information toddler brains can retain.
And then true original thought emerged. Stories we had never heard before, elaborate playscapes created out of blankets or an old shoelace. Despite what you read here, we do give them real toys too, I promise!
When they're not at each other's throats, these two nearly-three year olds have some amazing adventures together.
Wednesday - I filled up a 3.5 gallon bucket of water for the kids to play with on the back porch. The kids alternated who was being Jesus, washing each other's feet. "Momma, we're being Jesus, just like He washed the Apostles' feet!"
Thursday - clad in rain boots and fireman hats, carrying fireman axes and an ever trusty "rope" (the aforementioned shoelace), the kids hunted dragons for a good hour. The story line changed a little as the play progressed. Sometimes the dragons were good, sometimes the dragons were bad. And occasionally, the twins became dragons and came to roar at me while I was cooking dinner.
Friday - The kids like it when Bryan or I pretend to sleep and then wake up having a bad dream. Cora and Mac will then rush over, ask us what our dream was about, pat us soothingly, and then tell us to go back to sleep.
Episode 1: I "dreamed" I was a bird in a nest and a big cat was coming to eat me. My protectors yelled "kill it!" and rushed away to get "poison". They proceeded to climb on the bed carrying their "poison"-filled teacups and hurled the potion at the ceiling fan, saving me from all predators. we're not a violent family; I don't routinely, or really ever shout out "kill it!"
Episode 2: Mac pretended to have a bad dream. "Momma, Momma, I dreamed I was a bowl of ice cream and someone was trying to eat me!"
I'm watching brains grow and minds develop. And it's incredible.
In the not-so beginning, there were only a few words, parroting back what was heard.
Then, we progressed on to more and more words, phrases and sentences even, strung together by growing minds.
Creative play began to grow, initially repeating things seen on tv or read in books. We were (and still are) constantly amazed by the amount of information toddler brains can retain.
And then true original thought emerged. Stories we had never heard before, elaborate playscapes created out of blankets or an old shoelace. Despite what you read here, we do give them real toys too, I promise!
When they're not at each other's throats, these two nearly-three year olds have some amazing adventures together.
Wednesday - I filled up a 3.5 gallon bucket of water for the kids to play with on the back porch. The kids alternated who was being Jesus, washing each other's feet. "Momma, we're being Jesus, just like He washed the Apostles' feet!"
Thursday - clad in rain boots and fireman hats, carrying fireman axes and an ever trusty "rope" (the aforementioned shoelace), the kids hunted dragons for a good hour. The story line changed a little as the play progressed. Sometimes the dragons were good, sometimes the dragons were bad. And occasionally, the twins became dragons and came to roar at me while I was cooking dinner.
Friday - The kids like it when Bryan or I pretend to sleep and then wake up having a bad dream. Cora and Mac will then rush over, ask us what our dream was about, pat us soothingly, and then tell us to go back to sleep.
Episode 1: I "dreamed" I was a bird in a nest and a big cat was coming to eat me. My protectors yelled "kill it!" and rushed away to get "poison". They proceeded to climb on the bed carrying their "poison"-filled teacups and hurled the potion at the ceiling fan, saving me from all predators. we're not a violent family; I don't routinely, or really ever shout out "kill it!"
Episode 2: Mac pretended to have a bad dream. "Momma, Momma, I dreamed I was a bowl of ice cream and someone was trying to eat me!"
I'm watching brains grow and minds develop. And it's incredible.
Monday, June 24, 2013
How to tell your child about embryo adoption
A lot of bloggers right now have been posting their own ways of introducing embryo adoption to their children. In addition to regular, child-led conversation, I made this board book for the kids and gave one to each of them for their first birthday. I've shared this script before, but thought it a good idea to share again. Plus I'm kinda in a blogging funk and didn't want to leave my blog "inactive" for so long!
It is interesting to note that going through the embryo adoption process again with the twins at the age they are (2.5) has made for some great conversations about EA, miscarriage, and even life and death. Mac still is very sad that the baby seeds were called home to Jesus before he got to meet them. We've named all eight of our snowbabies that bypassed our arms for the arms of Christ - Mac can rattle off all their names. Just had a conversation about our eight snowbabies in a fast food restaurant bathroom the other day - never know when little minds will latch onto an idea!
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Cora and Mac: Welcome to the Family!
Picture on each page plus front and back cover
Pg 1. Once upon a time, Momma and Daddy fell in love and got married.
Pg 2. We loved each other so much, we asked God for children.
Pg 3. God heard our prayers and said “I have something special planned for you.”
Pg 4. Meanwhile, God gave another mother and father lots of blessings – three big babies and some little bitty baby seeds.
Pg 5. This other mother and father said “our hearts are full! Let’s share our little bitty baby seeds with someone who doesn’t have any.”
Pg 6. Some nice people helped introduce us to the other mother and father.
Pg 7. We agreed to adopt the little bitty baby seeds and love them forever and ever.
Pg 8. A doctor put the little bitty baby seeds in Momma’s tummy to grow bigger and stronger.
Pg 9. Two little baby seeds grew and grew and grew.
Pg 10. And Momma’s belly grew and grew and grew.
Pg 11. Finally the doctor said it’s time to meet your babies. We were so excited!
Pg 12. You were born on July 18, Cora first and then Mac.
Pg 13. We rejoiced! God had answered our prayers and had given us two beautiful healthy babies.
Pg 14. And one month after you entered our family, you were baptized and joined Jesus’s family.
My blog header is actually the picture from the back cover and I used a different picture of the twins for the cover. It took me weeks to get the script to my liking. And then, I discovered that finding pictures was even harder!
As the kids age, we've tweaked language a little bit. Originally, I read an abbreviated version of the story above. Remember, they got these boardbooks for their first birthday. Bryan was deployed when the kids received these books, so the pictures of Daddy were of extra interest at the time. The picture of their genetic siblings has always been of interest (side note - right now, we just call their three genetic siblings by name and gloss over the exact relationship) because Cora looks a lot like her genetic sisters.
With our recent EA process, I've started introducing slightly more correct language, "womb" and "embryo" and even "uterus" have entered our conversation. I've used the words interchangeably with their simpler counterparts "tummy" and "baby seeds" to ease the transition.
So far, so good, though I'm pretty sure Cora and Mac think this is how all kids come to be. :-)
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